The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour Course

The Psychology of Self Harm and Behaviour Course
Wednesday 13 May 2009

“The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour Course raised awareness of issues and offered strategies for dealing with these.”
Carol Kenny, Queen Mary’s High School

Do you often wonder why….?

ð More young people are getting confused and ‘acting out’?
ð Some children and young people self harm?
ð Some children and young people behave in a particular way and don’t seem to be able to break the habit?
ð Suicide is on the increase amongst young people?
ð Some young people appear to be apathetic?
ð Seemingly very intelligent young people throw their opportunities away and end up mixing with the wrong crowd, getting pregnant or get into debilitating habits like drug taking, alcohol or joining gangs?

This 1 Day Course will cover:
Ö An awareness of the underlying emotional and psychological challenges, patterns and beliefs that might be running young people’s lives.
Ö How our inner world has a major impact on our outer world and the people around us
Ö Letting go of negative emotions
Ö Interpreting Positive intentions relating to self harm behaviour
Ö Possible signs to look out for
Ö How YOU can have a great positive impact on children and the young people that you work with and manage self harm differently
Ö How your communication can make the difference to young people
Ö Tools, strategies for support and change of self harm behaviour

“The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour Course helped me to feel inspired again! It reinforced what my role is and how I can make a positive difference. It was great that you shared your experience with us, which added credence and authenticity to what you were saying. I feel more able to delve deeper and confident in dealing with self harm.”
Julia Clarke, St Paul’s RC School

The emphasis of this Course is on the emotional and psychological issues that precedes the actual self harm activity.

It takes YOU on a journey of discovering and uncovering the awareness of issues and circumstances that may trigger self harm activities in young people.

Additionally, the Course provides delegates with effective tools and strategies to support young people in dealing with self harm

“It has given me some practical strategies in order to work with pupils who self harm, and I now have a greater understanding of why pupils ‘self harm’”
Maureen Davis, St John Wall School

Finally, included in The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour Course are modules for you as a professional to identify how you can support yourself and parents better and differently within self harm and other aspects of your work with young people.

DATE: Wednesday 13 May 2009
Investment: £177 (Recession buster - £31 discount off 2008 price!!!)
Venue: Central Birmingham, B5
Time: 09.30 – 4.00pm
Complimentary Breakfast & Lunch and refreshments will be provided.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND?

Anyone working with children and young people, including:
Ö Teachers
Ö Social Workers
Ö Youth Workers
Ö LEA (Local Education Authority) staff
Ö Foster Carers
Ö Extended School Staff
Ö Child Protection Teams
Ö Probation Officers; Prison Officers
Ö Family Support Workers
Ö Connexions Staff
Ö Primary Care Trust
Ö Residential Staff
Ö Learning Mentors/Mentor
Ö Teaching Assistants/Support Staff
Ö C.A.M.S Staff

For further information contact Jennifer McLeod on
+44 (0) 121 551 1668 or email youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk.

What do you do now?

Contact us now youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk to book your place Today!

This is on a first come first served basis only and delegates who have paid will have their places secured.

** Places are limited. Please book your place now to avoid disappointment**


“The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour Course has given me fresh insight and strategies to use and to know what to look out for. Thank you so much. I was very inspired by what you do and useful to hear about your own personal experiences.”
Jan Loxley, Primrose Hill Community School

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
www.stepup-international.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

What is happiness?

What is happiness?

What makes you happy? How do you know when you are happy?

Expert on happiness and Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says happiness is:

‘a condition that must be prepare for, cultivated, and defended privately, by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is close as any of us can come to being happy.

It is being fully involved with every detail of your lives, where good or bad, that we find happiness, not trying to look for it directly.

Happiness is a circuitous path that begins with achieving control over the contents of our consciousness.’

Viktor Frankl says:

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…..as the unintended side-effect of ones personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.jennifermcleod-author.blogspot.com/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

5 Things to Look For When YOU Approach a Company That Offers Parenting Solutions:

5 Things to Look For When YOU Approach a Company That Offers Parenting Solutions:

Sometimes it can be difficult to make the right choice when choosing a service or product from an unknown company, especially when you have your family's interest at heart. The best way is always to test out the company and see if it is the right one for you by asking them a range of questions. If it feels right, then it probably is the right company for you to work with.

Just to help you along the way, here are 5 Things to look out for when you approach a company that offers parenting solutions:

1. Do they have a Long lasting parenting model for success?
2. Do they offer After Service Support Systems?
3. Do they Enable you to establish or re-establish your own identity as well as being a parent?
4. Does their their service help you to identify root causes of some of your parenting challenges and help you to eliminate them?
5. Does the service help you to take control of your life and Create the life you want?
   
   ‘When you really go for what you want, you are helping more people than you realise.’
   Jennifer McLeod

Good luck and happy shopping!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk


+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Wife Swop - The Effects on the Children

I have to say that Wife Swop is a programme that previously I didn't think deserved the time of day watching, however, my children happened to be watching it one day, not something that they normally watch, and I decided to join them, more because I wanted to spend that time just chilling out with them.

As I got into the programme, I started watching it with more curiosity and from a different, more observational perspective because of my role of working with parents and young people. My initial thought was why on earth would someone do something like that? What are people's motives for going through a process like Wife Swop , especially when they have objections to the changes and new house rules that are created as part of the process?

Generally, from the few shows that I have seen so far, there seems to be positive changes at the end of the process for both sets of families in different ways, if for no other reason, than to have more appreciation for their own real families afterwards and an insight into other people's worlds.

Examples of effects of the Wife Swop programme on the children that I have observed (given that I haven't seen that many episodes) include:

1. the episode where a wife and mother of four girls and one boy had learnt at the end of the Swop experience to let her 21 year old son take more responsibility for looking after his dog and himself, which includes getting himself out of bed. After all, he was 21 and needed to have some sense of responsibility and accountability for his own actions, learning that it was his responsibility to deal with consequences of his actions. He also had the added privilege of eating his dinner first, alongside his dad, before his mum and his four younger sisters could eat. Unfortunately, this was his mum's doing and not his dad's. I guess the knock on effect of his upbringing now is that he will be expecting his partner to always be at his beck and call because that's all he has ever been used to. His mum wanted it this way for her whole family, including her husband, because this made her feel needed!


2. Unfortunately, his sisters have been brought up to accept that it was OK for men to eat first and that they had left overs. In addition, they also believe that their role is to serve men, including rolling their cigars etc - basically be at their beck and call, and still have a job outside of the home. I don't know how many of these four girls will be strong enough and confident enough when they are older to stop her partner using her like a doormat or indeed prevent her partner abusing her in any other way, such as domestic violence. What I do know is that their mother's unhealthy neediness and insecurities has given them all alot of 'stuff' to undo and get rid of if they are to lead a healthy, positive life.


3. Another example of the effects of Wife Swop on children is the episode when family 'A' Swopped with family 'B'. Family 'A' was made up of parents who are both Councillors and three children and family 'B' was made up of parents (one of whom was a step-parent) and I think three children.


4. In family 'A', there was constant activity around the local government councillor's role, which also involved one of the daughters as well. The phone was constantly on the go and the ethos was that people 'out there' need us, so be patient and accept that we need to drop everything that we are doing to attend to their needs whenever they call. This meant that the children, all in their teens, didn't have much time with their parents, as even meal times was interrupted by phone calls.


5. In family 'B', the mother's eldest son of fifteen years, was having difficulty getting on with his step-dad. This meant that he was out often, getting into trouble with the police and hanging out with the wrong crowd. His behaviour was clearly affecting the whole family, however, his step-dad didn't seem to take much responsibility for some of his own actions either.


6. The positive outcomes for family 'A' and 'B' was that both sets of children were better off as a result of the Swop experience. The children in family 'A' had more time with their parents and the phone was switched off at a certain time in the evening. The eldest son in family 'B' had developed increased confidence because the 'Swop mum' had booked him a session in a recording studio because of his love for music.

As parents we need to become aware of what we are doing to and for ourselves as well as how our own behaviours affect our children. It takes courage to put up our hand and admit that some things in our lives are not working and that they need to be changed and we are the ones to make the changes happen.

It is possible and it can be done and I have done for myself and for the benefit of my children.

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
www.PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

Relationships - My Partner is not meeting my needs

The Inside Job – Going to Work on You

Did You Know it was an “Inside Job”?

My partner is not meeting my needs

A lot of times if we are feeling unfulfilled in our relationship, we tend to aim the focus of our discontent at our partners without taking sufficient time to focus on what we might be doing to exacerbate the situation. I know it is easily done and I have fallen prey to this situation myself in my previous marriage. One of the things I was guilty of was focusing on what my husband was or was not doing within the relationship. When I had LEARNT to shift the focus from him to myself, it was only then that I was able to focus on what I was doing and not doing in the relationship. I had to LEARN to take control of my own happiness and decided that it would not depend on whether my husband was meeting my ‘needs’ or not. It was at this time that I was able to be honest with him and myself as to whether the relationship was the right one for me. As it happens, it was not the best thing for me to remain in the relationship and hence came the divorce. It was also a process of beginning to identify and understand what my real needs were, as I thought I knew what they were then.

Relationship Challenges

People come into your life for a reason and being in a relationship provides us with undoubtedly the hardest challenges we face as adults as we are seldom taught to love ourselves as children, yet we are expected to know how to love other people as adults in very deep, life changing situations such as that posed by marriages and other long term relationships. Relationships teach us, help us to learn life’s lessons and certainly help us to grow as more tolerant human beings if we choose to take up that opportunity. In order to truly love someone else, we must first learn and re-learn to love ourselves. It is impossible to love anyone else more than we love ourselves. The extent of the love we give out is a direct reflection of the love we have for ourselves.

“Be the change you want to see” Mahatma Ghandi

My ‘other half’

We get fooled into thinking that the other person only needs to be ‘half ok’ and that we will make up the other half of the relationship and them, hence the all too common phrase ‘’my other half’’. A healthy relationship needs both parties to be whole, complete individuals in and of themselves, bringing their own happiness, uniqueness, love and abilities.

What are your needs?

Sometimes we think we know what our needs are, however, when it comes to naming them, we get stuck. If you were to ask your partner today to meet your needs better, what would you say? Do you know what your REAL needs are?

When was the last time you did something spontaneous or special for your partner without expecting something in return? How are you meeting your partner’s needs? Do you know what your partner’s needs are? If you don’t know, then ASK them. Find out what they need in order to feel loved and connected. Sometimes just BEING THERE, being PRESENT is enough. If your partner is not meeting your needs, chances are you may not be meeting theirs either.

Inside Job

You’ve got to give to others first before you can get what you want. If you want a better relationship, go to work on YOU. The problem is not necessarily out there and is usually an ‘inside job’. That is, rather than looking externally and pointing the finger at your partner, look within first. Rather than trying to ‘fix’ them, ‘fix’ you instead. Identify and Start to act the way you would like your ideal relationship to be.

Identify where the ‘problem’ really lies: is it you, your partner or the relationship itself. Be honest with yourself and your partner. When you have identified the ‘problem’ then go to work on finding solutions and changing it.

“Be the change you want to see” Mahatma Ghandi

True, Authentic Self

So where am I on my journey? Right now I am on my way to being my true, authentic self, allowing my creativity to manifest and learning more and more about me and my needs, loving me first so that when I do meet ‘him’ and ask him what his needs are, I am in a better position to deliver.

So, if you want your relationship to be better and grow, GO TO WORK ON YOU TODAY. As you love you more and more, you will be in a better position to give and share more of your love with your partner.

Loving Inspirations From Children

If you are still feeling unsure about what love is, here’s some inspirations from some children. Enjoy!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

”When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)”Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

”I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an imagination) Karen - age 7

Recommendations

The Power of Intention by Dr Wayne W Dyer
This book will really help you to focus your mind on what you want to happen, to learn to let go, and surrender to allow your desires to manifest. It will help you focus your intention on developing a better relationship with yourself and your partner.

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

www.PositiveInspirationS.co.uk