More feedback re Parents, Do you deserve the teenagers you have?

I have been getting a range of comments about my articles on other sites that i have posted them and i have a very interesting response from someone, that i thought you might want to read here too!

I would like to hear from you about any of these articles or blogs, so feel free to leave your comments at the end of the article. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Here goes:

Hi Jennifer

I am happy for u to use my comments if they are useful.

i think we need to start changing the way that we see children. if u remember many years ago, children had a lot of responsibilities from a young age, perhaps too many, well in current times they don’t have enough. We need to strike a balance. Also in the years of past the children had a lot of responsibilities but were also treated with a lack of respect for their intelligence. Children do seem to get treated like second class citizens a lot of the times. Some treat their children in ways that they would never treat an adult even though that adult may be a stranger.

let me give you two scenarios, both of which actually happened:

1)-there is a knock at the door, you r expecting a guest, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into your 7 year old who has followed u to the door, u turn around aghast, in a mean tone with and an angry face, u utter or shout something like, oh God, what r u doing there? Did u have to stand behind me?!! Kind of like insinuating ' u stupid child'.

2) -you and a friend are on your way out, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into ur friend who has followed u to the door and is standing quite close to u, u gasp, oops! u turn around apologetically and say 'I’m so sorry'!

What’s the difference here?

They are both human beings with feelings. Jennifer i would have to say that i disagree that children would be made fun of if they r included in the running of the house and given responsibilities. I’m not sure i understand what u mean by they would be made fun of, could u please explain?i believe that if we involve our children in some of the decisions and also give them important jobs to do, (even if we have to sometimes do them over.) it gives children a sense of importance and belonging, rather than an 'us and them' atmosphere. This is how children grow and separate themselves from the home and their social life and friends become more important than their mother and father.

i remember explaining to a friend that even if they got their young 5 year old to tidy up one of the kitchen cupboards it would give him confidence. she used to have a cupboard at floor level with canned food etc. this particular friend would never give the child things to do that were household jobs because she didn’t think the job would get done properly (this is not the point of the exercise at this age, the point is to involve the child, give them a feeling of importance, confidence, that u trust them with ur things or the household things), she would only tell him and his older brother to tidy their own toys and rooms, nothing that involved the children in the house as a whole rather than just 'their' toys 'their' room.

If a person does not feel included, they look elsewhere to feel a sense of belonging; it is the same for children. If they don’t feel included in the home, they start to look elsewhere for that sense of belonging.

Alliyah, Marketing Executive

Lingoworx Language Associates

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