Easy Tiger Parent System™

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Jennifer McLeod


How Do You Stop Or Deal With Manipulative Parents?



Born To Win!: Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs







8 July 2008

How Do You Stop or Deal With A Manipulative Parent?



How Do You Stop Or Deal With A Manipulative Parent?

Some parents get blinded by their own emotions and stuff going on in their lives that they fail to see the affects, hurt and damage caused by their actions. One of such examples is a parent who use and manipulate their children to get their own way against the other parent.

In my opinion, anyone who uses innocent children in that way is a coward.

So what do you do if you find yourself in the position of having your partner or your ex use and manipulate your children to get back at you or get their own way? How do you deal with the situation if they are the manipulative parent?


Well, first and foremost be clear and acknowledge that this has nothing to do with your child (children) and that it is you that your partner or ex is really attempting to get back at or hurt in some way. Also, be clear that your son/daughter is NOT responsible for being used in this way, they are just children and it is all about your partner’s manipulative parenting!


For a more in-depth elaboration on this topic and solutions to move forward, Read More Here: http://snurl.com/20u2qw 

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

7 comments:

georgeksimon said...

Jennifer, "Bravo" on your post! I agree wholeheartedly with your comment about how damaging it is to use innocent children as pawns in war games between divorced or separated parents. I plan to quote part of your comments on my blog www.manipulative-people.com and website. I'd like to suggest, however, that to say people do these things out of cowardice (I'm assuming you mean fear of revealing a true agenda openly) can be a dangerous presumption as well as a manipulative attempt in itself to goad the covert-aggressor into feeling a little shame (which, by the way would likely prove a fruitless exercise) or into more forthright behavior. We have become a society of undisciplined, self-centered fighters for whom getting what we want is much more important than who might get injured in the process. One could only hope that folks would experience a little squeamishness or cowardice when it comes to using our kids as pawns in covert wars.

Melissa said...

Hi there,
I am a stepmom involved in the whole mess of manipulation. My stepson's mother does not want my husband to have anything to do with his son. He took her to court when his son was 2 to get rights to see him, and he won. They have joint custody. The problem is, she says he has such bad anxiety about coming to our home. When he is here, though, he seems like he has a great time. I know she is just saying things to make my husband feel bad. Around the holidays it gets really difficult because my husband wants him to be here overnight for Christmas Eve and she refuses. The court order says they are suppose to "agree" on Holidays. He doesn't want to get his son all upset on Christmas, but he wants to see him too. He has never had him on Christmas Eve and he is 8 years old. When is enough, enough? Is there anything he can do to stop this cycle, short from going back to court. We really cannot afford a lawyer!
Thanks!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, that was extremely valuable and interesting...I will be back again to read more on this topic.

Jennifer McLeod said...

thank you all for your comments. please let others know about this blog. also see my new website www.stepup-international.co.uk

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I'm a 40 year old woman who finally took a stand against my mother who has manipulated me my whole life. I ended up hating my father and always took her side in every argument because she told me she had depression and anxiety if I didn't hear her out. Now, I realize that she was too much of a coward to say anything to him and made me her therapist my whole life. She was also lazy to try and work out her marriage issues by herself and too ashamed to talk to a professional therapist or her friends for that matter. I have finally cut ties because I realize she has no desire to stop her manipulation at the expense of our relationship. She once told me she had cancer to cause me to worry about her for 6 months. I found out later, that this was untrue. Five years ago, after I stopped talking to her for about 1 year regarding her constant manipulation of me against my father, I got into a car accident and broke my spine, ribs, and nose. She didn't call me for 3 months to see how I was doing. I believe it was her being passive aggressive. She told me she didn't know that I was near death after the car accident, as the reason for why she didn't call me. I have now stopped accepting her phone calls permanently. Now she has her friends stalking me at my home, and has her friends call me randomly. I keep telling her to stop, she promises to stop, but won't stop trying to contact me. I'm trying to find out if I could help a restraining order or move out of my home. This is so ridiculous, it's beyond imagination.

-Helen

Anonymous said...

I am in the thick of this very conversation. I have been separated from the kids mom (My wife) for two years. She had an affair with a man at her job and did everything she could to tear our marriage down. I will be balanced about whats going on here in my story. I had an affair 4 years prior to hers. I tried everything I knew to restore trust but every time we got into it about something She convicted me over and over of the affair. Finally, in Dec. of 2009 I called it quits and walked away from the marriage altogether. I had just lost my job to make matters worse. She moved her boyfriend in and was pregnant the following month. I learned that she had our 3 sons who were 15, 14 and 9 at the time calling her new boyfriend "dad". I stayed away from her because I knew her game was only to hurt. Several months after we left we went to court and the judge told her basically to stop playing games with the kids and to make visitation arrangements. So I began picking the children up and making up for lost time. I had been blessed with a well paying job and so life for me and the kids had gotten much better. I HAD EVEN BEFRIENDED HER NEW BOYFRIEND! Later the kids and I flew to Orlando and did the Disney thing.... without her. In fact life had just improved by leaps and bounds without her as far as me and the kids were concerned. The kids always wanted to hang out with me and be at 'dad's pad'. But she grew increasingly unhappy with the way things were going in my life. The kids didn't have a want for anything. I paid her child support and took care of the kids on top of that. The kids started telling me that their mother wouldn't talk to them and started calling them unthinkable names when they were at her place. I called her on it and she started playing her games by not letting me see the boys. I have resolved to cut off all connections with my children because in order for me to deal wit my kids would mean that I would fall underneath their mother's sick and twisted power when it comes to my kids. She thinks that it weakens me because she is doing this and to tell the truth I cry at night and beg the Lord for his help! But I must move on with my life and I pray everyday for the safety of our children. But I will never in no way beg her for our kids. No! She is sick in her mind. I have reached out to her as far as I can possibly reach. So the kids lose! She Wins! Get the confetti out out and start cheering sick minded women; You win! I will continue to pay child support and I will move on with my life!

Jennifer McLeod said...

Children Don't See things the Way Adults Do


Don't give up on your children! Even when the going gets tough. Find a way to communicate with your children, maybe write them a letter so that they know where you are at. It is not about reaching out to your partner or Ex to have a relationship with your children but rather reaching out to your children in the best way you know how to. Even if it is the other parent that is in the wrong, the fact that you are not in their life is something that children will hold against YOU! Why did you leave me mum/dad? Why didnt you help us when you knew that we were having an awful time with the parent that we live with?


No, children don't always see things the way adults do because they are .... children, and we shouldn't expect them to


Wishing peace to all parents and families out there and for a healthier and happier 2012

Jennifer