Manipulative Parents

Hi Melissa

Manipulative Parents
Thank you for your comments and query.

It is always sad and unfortunate for the child caught up in between parents’ fights and manipulative situations.

Each circumstance is different, however. I also appreciate how frustrating this situation can be for you both.

With my situation years ago, I wrote my ex-husband a strong letter about his mistreatment of the children and then backed off, with the letter clearly stating that the boys will see him for what he is and what he is doing to them. Once I had stopped fighting him, my ex-husband didn’t have much to fight about and it was only then that the extent of the harassment (to me) and mistreatment of our sons stopped.

The most essential requirement in your situation is for you and your husband to be totally open and honest with your stepson about exactly what is going on. My advice would be to stay strong, supportive, and available for your stepson, encouraging him to talk about the situation.

Perhaps another way forward is sending his mum a written proposal of how the holidays could be shared and keep a copy of the letter, which at a much later date could be shown to your stepson if the situation continues.

My own parenting plan includes my children alternating between spending Christmas and New Year with us respectively. That is, this year, it’s their dad’s turn to have the boys for the whole of the Christmas week and my turn to have them for the whole of the New Year week. Next Year it will be my turn to have them for the whole of the Christmas break. The children know this and therefore they know what to expect and have adjusted to the arrangements accordingly.

As your stepson gets older, he will also be in a position to choose who he wants to spend Christmas with and will start to see things for himself. He will also start asking questions as to why he is not able to see his dad at Christmas.

As far as taking the situation back to court to find a solution, only you and your husband will know if that is the best solution for you all.

For a more in-depth elaboration on this topic and solutions to move forward, Read More Here: http://snurl.com/20u2qw  

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