Have you experienced the AHA! Way of learning NLP? What an experience it is!
Do check them out! Better still, sign up for your FREE masterclass here
http://ping.fm/qwjXF

'Deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect and make everyone
else deal with you the same way' Nikki Giovanni

"Your children need your presence more than they need your presents." Jesse Jackson

Tele-seminar (tele-conference) from the comfort of your own home. Do you
find it difficult to say NO to your children regarding money? Or NO to Extra
pairs of shoes/sneakers/trainers that they don't really need? Find out how
to take more control of your money here

http://ping.fm/jzG6a

Money burning holes in your pocket? Are you a parent who wants to hold onto
more of your money? Find out how here

http://ping.fm/eNi3r

Info on Cyber-bullying. How safe are you children on the internet? Help to
protect your children here www.jennifermcleod.co.uk

Parents needing help to manage their money and to capitalize on what they
have, see more info here for tele-seminar 11 August 2010 @ 8pm BST

http://ping.fm/H1UqM

To see info on helping to protect your children on the internet and from
paedophiles see my recent blogs here www.jennifermcleod.co.uk

You can read about being a good parent in books, but in the end it is up to you to put your knowledge into action.

The Internet - Playground for Paedophiles

Over the past few weeks, this blog has explored the dangers of the internet, how to prevent children from being cyber-bullied and how to react to cyber-bullying. Moreover, safety measures related to internet security have been identified as to make the online experience a positive experience for children. In connection to this, today's blog further emphasises the importance of the discussed safety features as the internet is an ever growing playground for paedophilia.

The case of Jon Venables who at the age of ten along with his friend Robert Thompson committed the murder of James Bulgar, shows that these offenders are disturbed individuals who in any case have to be taken very serious. Moreover, the latest news around Venables exhibit how important it is for children to be taught and follow certain internet security regulations and advice in order for them to be safe. Child pornography and child abuse have been increasingly on the rise making it even easier for paedophiles to download, share and distribute pornographic material of children.  P2P sharing (websites which make it possible for its users to exchange files) have made the material accessible worldwide. The internet provides them with the necessary anonymity and conceals their true identity. This is particularly dangerous for children and teenagers.

The real danger lies in chat rooms and instant messaging. Teenagers and even younger children are naturally curious and chatty individuals who seem to have the constant urge to share information, the latest gossip and social news. However, their naive and gullible nature makes them easily approachable in chat rooms by strangers. Only recently has a 12 year old girl been talked into practicing sexual acts on herself by a 43 year-old man who pretended to be a 14 year-old teenage boy. The paedophilic delinquent moreover asked the girl to meet him in person. He could however be stopped thanks to the interference of a friend of the youngster who told the girl's mother what has been happening. The man was trialled and sentenced for four years imprisonment.

This last minute rescue has saved the girl from further violation. Many of similar cases and scenarios, on the other hand, have worse outcomes. Therefore, it is ever more so important for parents to keep track of their children's activity online. Children and teenagers are in the vulnerable position of entering inferior positions with superior individuals who take advantage of the internet's anonymity. They often trust their chat partner easily and blindly, believing that the person on the other side of the connections is as reliable and honest as themselves overlooking the fact that the chat partner's intentions may not be honourable.

Prevention is better than cure. Educate your children on the anonymity of the internet and how it could be a serious danger to their well-being. As much as the internet is an excellent learning and social platform, it is also the meeting point and source of material for paedophiles. Their creativity is unfortunately inexhaustible and so are their ways of encouraging their victims to fulfil their sexual demands. Any sexual comments or references made by an adult to a minor qualify as delinquent behaviour and should immediately and with no delay be reported to the police.

Remember that the safety, security and comfort of your children are priorities during their online experience. As encouraged last week, parents should direct their children's attention and knowledge to what is acceptable online behaviour and what is not. Parents should know who their children talk to on the internet and convince their children to ideally converse only with people they properly know, i.e. school mates, friends, etc. Even if it makes children uncomfortable, they should be encouraged to talk about their chat room "friends" and directly report odd, uncomfortable and offensive behaviour back to their parents. 

Couple parents on my Easy Tiger Parents Programme said yesterday that for
years they have been searching and asking for help with managing their
children's behaviour., aggression and anger. This had been brushed aside by
others as natural part of their development. The parents feel satisfied that
finally they have had that help, and more, through my programme. Happy to
help!

Another of my Easy Tiger Parents Programmes finished yesterday for the
summer holidays. Always have mixed feelings when this happens. Happy that
the parents are able to go out there and continue their breakthroughs to
create the family environment that they want. Sad that this part of the
journey has ended

'Spend time alone in objective thought as you consider the direction of your
life' I Ching (The Receptive)

Internet Safety for Children

Last week's article looked at the many ways in which your child can possibly be harassed, humiliated and stalked online. It has presented the internet as both a useful tool for children but also as a trap for the vicious circle of being bullied. In order to prevent continuous harassment, parents have to properly educate and inform their children about internet security and the dangers of the cyberspace.

 

Children of different age groups utilise the internet for varying reasons. Therefore, parents should keep in mind what is a valuable resource for children, and what is not. All children generally like to play games on the internet. According to their age, it is advisable that parents preselect a number of games which carry value for the child's internet experience. Games with an educational purpose can be as fun for children as any other game.

 

It is crucial for parents to supervise their younger children's activity on the internet as to prevent harmful experiences online. Encourage your child not to use his or her real name when they play games online and make sure they know that they should never give out their address or other details to strangers.

 

With the growing popularity of social networking sites, even younger children will eventually want to be part of an online community in order to talk to their friends, share pictures and links. Photos should always be selected together with your child. If necessary, explain to your child why certain photos as well as links and other information should not or cannot be considered for publishing online. Always check the social networking site's privacy settings in order to block outsiders from viewing your child's profile. Remember: your child's privacy and safety is at stake!

 

Younger children often act based on emotions rather than making rational decisions. This is why it is important for them to report any sorts of offensive behaviour back to their parents especially if the child feels unhappy or scared about certain things online.

 

As tempting as it sounds to children to arrange a meeting with someone they have met online, they have to be told the dangers of meeting a person they do not know and have to be discouraged to meet the person at all. Even though chat rooms can be a fun experience for children, they have to be told that people can pretend to be virtually anybody they want to be. Children who often use IM (Instant Messenger) should only talk to people they actually know from the "real world" and block requests from people they do not know.

 

With regard to emailing, children should not open emails from unknown senders as they can contain viruses or pornographic material that could be of harm to the child's psychological development. If children receive obscene material or harassing comments in emails, they should in no way reply or respond to them but keep those emails in a separate folder for future reference. In any case, children have to learn to distinguish right from wrong in the online world, and have to feel comfortable to talk to their parents or carers about their worries and concerns.

Do not underestimate the harm done by cyberbullying. Three victims talk about their experiences in The Sun.

'God would not give us the ability and opportunities to be successful and
then condemn us to mediocrity.' Debra Anderson

'No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to
grow' Alice Walker

The Dangers of Cyber Bullying

Being a child is not always easy. Being a popular child in school appears to be a tedious accomplishment. Children, who are popular among their peers, have a more pleasant school and learning experience. They enjoy waking up in the morning and being taken to school to meet their friends and mingle within their established social network.

However, not every child is naturally an outgoing person. Many have timid personalities or are generally shy or quiet. For these children, socialising is a difficult task. They often appear to be outsiders – detached from the rest of the children. Perceived as weak personalities, they regularly become victims of bullying. "Traditional" forms of bullying usually start from early teen years and involve mocking, insults, verbal and physical threatening, etc. All lead to decreased levels of confidence making the victim feel worthless which ever so often results in the victim's complete withdrawal from the social world.  

New age technology has added yet another threat to the victims of bullying. The internet can be a useful tool for young people. However, it also bears dangers and further sources for bullies such as chat rooms, social networking sites, emails and instant messaging. Bullies can easily get hold of their victims and attack them on a larger scale as the internet has a wide reach. Social networking sites function as platforms for spreading lies about the victim, sending out nasty, threatening emails and instant messages, setting up websites which solely aim at the emotional destruction of the victims of cyber bullying by mocking their appearance, social background, style of clothing in order to harm their reputation.

Parents should always encourage their children to inform them when they are being bullied. Children frequently underestimate the pure cruelty they are exposed to or fear that their parents will overreact. If you as a parent sense that your child may be a victim of cyber bullying, stay calm and be of emotional support for your children. Suggest that the bully is blocked from the contact list and that any potential or existing bullies are deleted from your child's social network friends list. That way, bullies will not be able to post rude comments on your child's profile. If your child repeatedly receives harassing emails, then delete that account and set up a new one.

Should you feel that your child is exposed to physical threats, then do not hesitate to contact the police. Stalking as well as repeated harassment should in any case be brought to the attention of the police as to prevent further and more severe attacks.

Further information and advice can be found here. 

Facebook has finally launched a panic button on their website making it easier for children to report abuse and cyber bullying.

A child's temperament is inborn and apparent during infancy remaining throughout their life. Whereas adults are able to control their temperament, children struggle to act on a more rational basis. Each child is of a different nature which is why it is important to identify and understand a child's individual inborn characteristics. A guide to the different types and how to effectively work with each to make parenting more pleasurable can be found on this website: http://parenting.kaboose.com/behavior/understanding-your-childs-temperament.html.

Children - Victims of Consumerism?

Previous weeks' articles focused on money management and the importance of teaching children the right values of money. This week's article focuses on children as consumers, and demonstrates in how far taught values can eliminate the risk and high involvement of advertising in the child's money spending patterns and trend towards consumerism.

According to research, children spend an average of three hours in front of the TV daily. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), however, suggests that children should not spend more than one to two hours watching television. Moreover, they highly support the suggestion that TV sets in children's rooms should be removed, and, that only a variety of by the parents carefully selected programmes should be viewed. If necessary, programmes should be discussed and evaluated with the child. This can actually stimulate learning from TV programmes.

Another, often slightly overlooked danger besides programmes portraying violent, bullying and sexual contents, is advertising to children. On average children in the UK are exposed to 10,000 TV adverts every year. Even though there are restrictions on adverts that could physically, mentally or morally harm children, children are yet subjected to the colourful world of advertising – and consumerism. By watching ads, especially those of new toys on the market, children develop demands – demands that they do not easily forget about, but want to have fulfilled. It is increasingly difficult for parents to explain to their children that they simply cannot obtain nor have everything.

Children, therefore, should not only be taught the value of money and possession, but should also be explained and educated about the commercial intentions of companies. This way, children can be shown at a rational age the true intentions of advertising and the difference between fundamental needs and desires. Parents play a vital role in every stage of the child's development, and especially when children have to learn to not simply be motivated and guided by their emotions. It is a tedious task though for parents to explain to their children that companies are not primarily interested in the child's happiness. The world portrayed in advertising features the happiness of children associated with certain products. It presents a fantasy world where the quality and quantity of material goods are the predominating factors for a child's overall well-being.

Children, therefore, from a young age have to be taught that companies are profit oriented, and that money is a valuable, yet limited, aid. Tips for children on how to spend money wisely can be found on various websites.

 

Off to Easy Tiger Parents Programmes. Looking forward to hearing what other
great breakthroughs parents have had over the last week!

"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents." Henry Ward Beecher

Anyone able to help me? I have a bag full of empty ink cartridges and I have
been looking for organizations that buy them or recycle them. My intention
is for CVOC (Children Victims of Crime) to benefit from the proceeds of the
sale or recycling. Anyone know of any organizations that can help me with
this please?

I have just completed an amazing full-on last three weeks!

This week, I have a meeting Monday morning for a couple of hours; Easy Tiger
Parents Programmes Tuesday; Wednesday London all day conference: 'Supporting
Relationships/Supporting Families'; meeting in Kent with a Youth Offending
Institute; completing article for Royal College of Midwives; Thursday my
friend's mum's funeral and Friday night....salsa!!

This week, as a result of my Easy Tiger Parents Programme, one of the
couple's on the programme was able to go out together for the first time in
eleven years since their first child was born! Amazing!

Being a parent is a tough job.However shouting does not help improve the relationship between parents and their children. Read this article for more information: http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Punishment-or-positive-discipline.aspx

With the continuous growth and expansion of social networking sites, cyberbullying has become an increasing problem for its victims. For more information follow this blog or click on http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/HealthAndRelationships/Bullying/DG_070501.