Easy Tiger Parent System™

24 May 2008

Did you know it was an inside job?

Did You Know it was an “Inside Job”?

People come into your life for a reason and being in a relationship provides us with undoubtedly the hardest challenges we face as adults as we are seldom taught to truly love ourselves as children, yet we are expected to know how to love other people as adults in very deep, meaningful, life changing situations such as that posed by marriages and other long term relationships. Relationships teach us, help us to learn life’s lessons and certainly help us to grow as more tolerant human beings if we choose to take up that opportunity. In order to truly love someone else, we must first learn and re-learn to love ourselves. It is impossible to love anyone else more than we love ourselves. The extent of the love we give out is a direct reflection of the love we have for ourselves.

“Be the change you want to see” Mahatma Ghandi

My ‘other half’

We get fooled into thinking that the other person only needs to be ‘half ok’ and that we will make up the other half of the relationship, hence the all too common phrase ‘’my other half’’. A healthy relationship needs both parties to be whole, complete individuals in and of themselves, bringing their own happiness, uniqueness, love and abilities into the relationship.

My partner is not meeting my needs

A lot of times if we are feeling unfulfilled in our relationship, we tend to aim the focus of our discontent at our partners without taking sufficient time to focus on what we might be doing to exacerbate the situation. I know it is easily done and I have fallen prey to this situation myself in my previous marriage. One of the things I was guilty of was focusing on what my ex-husband was or was not doing within the relationship. When I had LEARNT to shift the focus from him to myself, it was only then that I was able to focus on what I was doing and or not doing in the relationship. I had to LEARN to take control of my own happiness and decided that it would not depend on whether my ex-husband or anyone else was making me happy.

What are your needs?

Sometimes we think we know what our needs are, however, when it comes to naming them, we get stuck. If you were to ask your partner today to meet your needs better, what would you say? Do you know what your REAL needs are? Which needs are not being met?

When was the last time you did something spontaneous or special for your partner without expecting something in return? How are you meeting your partner’s needs? Do you know what your partner’s needs are? If you don’t know, then ASK them. Find out what they need in order to feel loved and connected. Sometimes just BEING THERE, being PRESENT is enough. If your partner is not meeting your needs, chances are you may not be meeting theirs either.

Inside Job

You’ve got to give to others first before you can get what you want. If you want a better relationship, go to work on YOU. The problem is not necessarily out there and is usually an ‘inside job’. That is, rather than looking externally and pointing the finger at your partner, look within first. Rather than trying to ‘fix’ them, ‘fix’ you instead. Identify what you want in an ideal relationship and Start to act the way you would like your ideal relationship to be.

Identify where the ‘problem’ really lies: is it you, your partner or the relationship itself. Be honest with yourself and your partner. When you have identified the ‘problem’ then go to work on finding solutions and changing it.

True, Authentic Self

So, if you want your relationship to be better and grow, GO TO WORK ON YOU TODAY. As you love you more and more, and find your true, authentic self, you will be in a better position to give and share more of your love with your partner.

Loving Inspirations From Children

If you are still feeling unsure about what love is, here’s some inspirations from some children. Enjoy!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

”When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

”Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

”I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an imagination) Karen - age 7

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Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

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Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

17 May 2008

Elizabeth Fritzl Revisited – A Real Wake Up Call!

Elizabeth Fritzl Revisited – A Real Wake Up Call!

D’you know the original blog that I posted about Elizabeth Fritzl’s situation has been my most popular blog ever with over a 1000 (thousand) viewers clicking on it within one week of posting the blog on a particular social network site. And yet, even though it has been my most popular blog, I have not had a single comment left by my viewers, NOT ONE, compared to my other blogs.

What Does It Mean?

What does that mean? What could it mean? Is it that as a nation we don’t know what to say about sexual abuse, incest and rape and degrading another person? Is it that we are so disgusted by it that we are all rendered speechless? As stated in my original blog (Elizabeth Fritzl), sexual abuse and incest is widespread across the world, religion, creed, colour, race and gender.

Self Harm

Many of you will already know that my passion and mission is to liberate parents and young people. In one of my programmes for professionals working with children and young people (The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour), I share with delegates that one of the main reasons young people resort to self harm (hair pulling, ‘cutting’, drugs, alcohol, emotional abuse, compulsion to steal, gambling or obsession with fire) is because they have been sexually abused.

Coping Strategy

The self loathing, self degradation, hopelessness, helplessness, self hatred, shame and sheer emotional pain that they experience becomes so overwhelming that they feel unable to cope with it all and resort to self harm or self injury as a coping strategy and release from the emotional pain. Relief and control are the top two reasons that young people state for harming themselves and self harming is the number one reason for young people ending up in Accident and Emergency departments.

Speak Up!

So if as adults we feel unable to speak out against sexual abuse, incest and rape of children and young people, how then will we engender, encourage, support and engage children and young people in speaking out when they encounter such experiences?

‘Changing people’s attitudes towards mental health and counselling, and letting young people know that it’s alright to ask for help, that admitting you need help and support doesn’t mean that you have failed. Counselling needs to make more available to young people.’ 24 year old (Breaking Down Barriers Report – Youth Access)

In the UK, in recent years, more and more adults have started to speak out about their own experiences, whether they occurred in children’s homes, convents or at home amongst their family, and how these experiences have affected their lives today.

Our inability as adults to speak out goes a long way to demonstrate why children and young people are powerless to speak up or speak out about their plight, coupled with fear of reprisals from the perpetrator(s). In the majority of sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is someone that is known to the child or young person, generally a family member, which means that children and young people are torn between standing up for themselves and family loyalty. Children are very protective of their parents irrespective of how good, bad or indifferent their parents are. Perpetrators are and can be any member of the community and at any echelon within the community. Josef Fritzl was deemed to be a respectable member of his community.

Who Would Believe Me?

‘Who would believe me?’ is the question that young people grapple with in these situations. Does the other parent already know? Are they in denial? What would happen to them if they did tell? Do they want to take on the added burden and ‘responsibility’ of breaking up the family home and shattering relationships with their parents and their siblings? How would they cope if they did? Who would support them if they did? Who could they turn to?

Some adults who pluck up the courage to speak out about their experiences become alienated by their families, are accused of lying and accused of breaking up the family home. If this is what happens to an adult, then what chance have young people got?

Review of Youth Information, Advice and Counselling Services

A review of Youth Information, Advice and Counselling Services (YIACS) 2001 by Youth Access in England, revealed that young people’s emotional and mental health needs are not being met adequately. They concluded that there was not a specific service for young people as apposed to those for children and adults.

Society Fails Young People

Additionally, it would seem that social services are more confused and entangled in policy regarding children’s rights and ‘infringement of their human rights’ than focusing on the need to protect the children as in ‘Becky’s’ situation, “for fear their intervention might infringe her human rights.”

It would therefore appear that at all levels, society is failing children and young people and yet, we wonder why some young people ‘go off the rails’, are ‘yobos’, have no respect’, ‘have no manners’, or are turning to suicide as an escape route. What other choices have we given them?
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

Feedback

Give children and young people a voice. Let me have your comments, feedback, thoughts, ideas, or even feedback describing your challenge with leaving a comment about this article.

Your feedback is important to me. Leave a comment about this article here or send to youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

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Thank you

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13 May 2008

Are you a manager or business owner in denial?

Are you a manager or business owner in denial?

Are you one of those managers or business owner who denies that your personal life is creating havoc for you?

Do you deny the impact that your personal life’s challenges is having on your work and business environment?

Do you take your personal situation out on your colleagues, staff and team members or associates?

Have you become the office bully because you can't see another way out?

Do you find that the pretence of having a perfect home life is weighing you down?

Is the façade or pretence distracting you from your business priorities and success?

Are your business and working relationships starting to fall apart too?

Do you recognise how much you are making your work colleagues lives life miserable by your actions or inactions?

Are others walking on egg shells and tip toeing around you right now for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing that might upset you?

Well there is a way out……….! My 3 Month Parent & Relationship Liberation Programme is designed to help people just like you! Yes YOU too. Help you to throw out the challenges that are impacting on your personal and business life to get the clarity and find solutions that you need to create the path for your future success.
Most people seem to think that because I work with parents, it must mean that I work with 'bad parents' or 'troubled families' or 'parents whose teenagers have gone wild'. The truth is I work with ALL PARENTS!

I had a client in the past who was a successful businessman and who had different challenges going on in his personal and business life. His personal challenge regarding his children caused him the greatest anguish and had been for a number of years. This situation had also spilled over into his workplace and clearly affected the working environment and the strain he endured was evident to his staff.

When we first worked together he shared both challenges and his natural reaction was to work on the working relationship situation challenging him at work. Once he had the clarity he needed regarding his work situation, he didn’t think for one minute (or he couldn’t bring himself to ask for help) that he could use the same coaching process to get clarity and solutions relating to his personal situation!

Is this you too? Do you plod along with your head in the sand hoping that your personal situation will sort itself out? Or do you not allow yourself to recognise that you even have a personal challenge that needs attention?

I was speaking to a very good associate and contact of mine who is a business coach and he revealed that one of his main challenges with his clients is their personal life! Whilst he could only support them so much regarding their business challenges, goals and breakthroughs, he recognised that all of that work could be to no avail because their lives were having such a detrimental impact on their business life, to the extend where things could go ‘belly up’ but unfortunately his business owner clients do nothing about it. Is this you?

Do you know, we all have 'stuff' going on in our lives, no matter who we are or what we are? We wouldn't be humans if we didn't. What matters most is how we deal with the 'stuff' or challenges that we face on a regular basis.

Even the greatest of the greats and most successful people among us have personal challenges and ‘stuff’ going on! How they handle it is what matters most.

My 3 Month Parent & Relationship Liberation Programme is designed to help people just like you!

Contact me now for a FREE NO OBLIGATION CONSULTATION to see how I can liberate you to skyrocket your success!

“The coaching helped me to focus on what I need to prioritise in my life and how to effectively achieve these changes. Jennifer challenged me and took me to the edge of my comfort zone at times which is exactly what I needed.”
Ali Murray, Ignition Training & Development

“I have made massive changes to my lifestyle already by making a positive decision to move to Northern Ireland, actually taking steps to arrange accommodation, applying for employment and organising to rent my home out in Birmingham. This has all taken place within approximately 4 weeks. Jennifer made me sit up and do something positive about it, to actually improve my life for me and for once in my life to actually put myself first. I am extremely grateful to Jennifer to give me the strength and courage to take these steps. Jennifer has helped me to turn my life around for the better.”
Jackie Scott

“It’s not just work-focused coaching that people need. They need a balance as other things affect people’s performance.”
David Battersby, Manager, Midland Heart

To have the business opportunities that you want, or to do your business networking with confidence and to put more money in your business wallets Contact me, Jennifer McLeod now info@jennifermcleod.co.uk or +44 (0) 121 551 1668 to see how I can liberate you.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.jennifermcleod-author.blogspot.com/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

More feedback re Parents, Do you deserve the teenagers you have?

I have been getting a range of comments about my articles on other sites that i have posted them and i have a very interesting response from someone, that i thought you might want to read here too!

I would like to hear from you about any of these articles or blogs, so feel free to leave your comments at the end of the article. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Here goes:

Hi Jennifer

I am happy for u to use my comments if they are useful.

i think we need to start changing the way that we see children. if u remember many years ago, children had a lot of responsibilities from a young age, perhaps too many, well in current times they don’t have enough. We need to strike a balance. Also in the years of past the children had a lot of responsibilities but were also treated with a lack of respect for their intelligence. Children do seem to get treated like second class citizens a lot of the times. Some treat their children in ways that they would never treat an adult even though that adult may be a stranger.

let me give you two scenarios, both of which actually happened:

1)-there is a knock at the door, you r expecting a guest, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into your 7 year old who has followed u to the door, u turn around aghast, in a mean tone with and an angry face, u utter or shout something like, oh God, what r u doing there? Did u have to stand behind me?!! Kind of like insinuating ' u stupid child'.

2) -you and a friend are on your way out, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into ur friend who has followed u to the door and is standing quite close to u, u gasp, oops! u turn around apologetically and say 'I’m so sorry'!

What’s the difference here?

They are both human beings with feelings. Jennifer i would have to say that i disagree that children would be made fun of if they r included in the running of the house and given responsibilities. I’m not sure i understand what u mean by they would be made fun of, could u please explain?i believe that if we involve our children in some of the decisions and also give them important jobs to do, (even if we have to sometimes do them over.) it gives children a sense of importance and belonging, rather than an 'us and them' atmosphere. This is how children grow and separate themselves from the home and their social life and friends become more important than their mother and father.

i remember explaining to a friend that even if they got their young 5 year old to tidy up one of the kitchen cupboards it would give him confidence. she used to have a cupboard at floor level with canned food etc. this particular friend would never give the child things to do that were household jobs because she didn’t think the job would get done properly (this is not the point of the exercise at this age, the point is to involve the child, give them a feeling of importance, confidence, that u trust them with ur things or the household things), she would only tell him and his older brother to tidy their own toys and rooms, nothing that involved the children in the house as a whole rather than just 'their' toys 'their' room.

If a person does not feel included, they look elsewhere to feel a sense of belonging; it is the same for children. If they don’t feel included in the home, they start to look elsewhere for that sense of belonging.

Alliyah, Marketing Executive

Lingoworx Language Associates

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10 May 2008

Comments to my blog 'Parents, do you deserve the teenagers you have?

Parents, Do you deserve the teenagers you have?by Jennifer McLeod on 8-May

I think this is an over-generalisation. There are distinct differences in personality and character between family members, and nurture often doesn't explain them. Parents soon know that their children come with built-in unique features that can delight and also surprise. I've been working with children and young people for over 20 years now, and have also researched young people with emotional and behavioural difficulties for a master's degree. Some of the teenagers I see are pretty wild, on the verge of exclusion from school, and their behaviour at home is also very challenging. Whenever possible I meet with the parents and siblings as well, and we all combine as a team, so I get to see the whole family dynamic at work.Even after all this time, I'm still frequently amazed by the dramatic variations between children in families - brought up by the same parents with no obvious disruptive events or major stress points to differentiate one from the other - yet one teenager is acting up, self-harming, violent, on drugs - whatever the response is - and another sibling (or siblings) are adapting well and 'normal'.These parents haven't treated their children any differently, they have given them all the same love and care, established the same boundaries - and have demonstrated a successful parenting model - and it is a huge shock to them when one of their offspring goes off the rails. In such cases, I would hesitate to say that they 'deserve the teenagers they have'. It's a complex subject and needs careful handling - apportioning blame to anyone doesn't change anything.
Christine Miller - Editor

Hi Christine

totally agree about blame!!!i work with parents and young people from an emotional and psychological perspective. My take is that parents do the best they can with the resources that they have. The young person that might have ‘gone off the rail’ or is self harming may have picked up on little nuances or psychological stuff coming from the parent(s) towards them that the parents themselves may not even realise. The young person turns this into all kinds of ‘weird and wonderful’ things in their heads both at a conscious and unconscious level. That is they internalize their perception of what their parents or other important adults around might be projecting onto them. They then run and re-run this perception until the result is low self esteem, low confidence, not feeling good about themselves or self harm etc etc. so yes, on the surface, it might appear that all the siblings were treated the same, however....
Jennifer

I like to think so.My kids were wonderful teenagers (one of them still is).Both very different characters, but both are happy, thoughtful, ambitious, caring, loyal friends, great fun.Not sure I can take all the credit 'tho. They are their own people.
John

hi John
thanks for replying to my blog. it's nice to hear something postive about young people. my youngest (12) is just starting to go through the changes so giving him his space - and still learning to how many do you have?
Jennifer

It's the old nurture-nature story again, isn't it? How a teenager turns out cannot be attributed to one element, i.e. the nurture bit, but is the result of a combination of factors and influences. We shouldn't take too seriously the way that some people feel any outcome can be controlled, and is the entire result of earlier events and circumstances. In our current climate whereby everything must be manipulated, managed and measured to the ninth place of decimal, we've got to accept that some things are just up to luck.
SUZE
S u z a n S t M a u r. c o m Ghostwriter, Editor

Suzan

i agree about different contributory factors. when i work with parents too, i work with them from a whole person perspective, because other factors have an impact on their ability to parent the way that they might want to tell me more about what you do. i am an author and in middle of 3rd book, however might need to use services like yours for other projects, including ebooks
Jennifer

It is the usual 50/50 split idea again. Each of us has a unique temperament but how the world receives and helps us is crucial. Parents need to believe that they are an important influence but not that their children are born formless for them to shape as they choose. I was one of 3 and we were totally different. My elder brother had what would now be called special needs and my parents were made to feel guilty and totally at fault. That's what first got me interested in psychology.An optimistic take on your quote would then encourage parents to feel empowered and hopeful for their child's future. But it could be seen as a rebuke which would scare some parents if not all was well. I often work with families where just one child is finding it tough. Usually it is a mix of what the child and the adults bring to the relationship. Just like mixing cocktails it depends on the ingredients. We read about parenting style as if it's a set formula, whereas being tuned into who your child is is just as important.
Jeni HooperHappy2Learn

Thanks for responding to blog Jeni

Formula? hhhmmmm! i tell parents that i enable them to parent in the way that is 'just right for you' because each child/parent mix will unique.What’s your specific niche with families?
Jennifer

Children are little people and should be treated with respect for their opinions etc and given more credit than they are given. the problem with western society is that it seems to think 'let them stay young for as long as they can' but when they become teenagers suddenly want them to behave like sensible adults when all along they have not been giving them responsibilities, credit for their opinions while children, teaching them that life is not all play and fun. no preparation is involved, it is best to start to prepare them from a young age for adulthood so that it becomes natural for them, little by little. i also don't understand how the west defines someone who is in puberty a child. if a girl or boy reaches the average age to be able to produce babies, they are hardly children anymore in a physical sense, so perhaps we need to look at this and prepare them mentally, throw out the old saying 'let them stay young for as long as they can' it doesn't help anyone, we aren't doing anyone any favors this way. those children grow to become teenagers (young adults) without the mental preparation needed for their age group, act inappropriately for their age, get fed up being treated as if they know nothing, get frustrated because of the lack of respect so then rebel.
AlliyahMarketing ExecutiveLingoworx Language Associates

hi Alliyah

thanks for responding to this blog.i agree. children are given mixed messages on their journey and get frustrated and confused in terms of what they are supposed to do.the other challenge is that if one child is treated as you described, they would stand out like a sore thumb and be picked on, unfortunately.where are you from?i am writing my 4th book about parents, which probably wont be ready until 2010 (as i am still in the middle of book 3), would you mind if i use your comments in the book? this wasn’t the original intention of blogging the statement, however i think you make a very valid point
Jennifer

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What is happiness?

What is happiness?

What makes you happy? How do you know when you are happy?

Expert on happiness and Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says happiness is:

‘a condition that must be prepare for, cultivated, and defended privately, by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is close as any of us can come to being happy.

It is being fully involved with every detail of your lives, where good or bad, that we find happiness, not trying to look for it directly.

Happiness is a circuitous path that begins with achieving control over the contents of our consciousness.’

Viktor Frankl says:

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…..as the unintended side-effect of ones personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.jennifermcleod-author.blogspot.com/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

8 May 2008

Cancer Research - Race For Life UK 2008

Cancer Research - Race for Life -UK 2008

Do you know anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer? Perhaps a friend, family member, neighbour, associate or a child?

Events like Race for Life are an important way in which Cancer Research UK is able to fund its life-saving work into preventing, diagnosing and treating cancer. Lend your support and sponsor Dharma now to help more people survive cancer

Click Here http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/dharmeshtamistry

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
www.stepup-international.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

7 May 2008

Parents, do you have the teenagers you deserve?

Parents, do you have the teenagers you deserve?

Reading Penny Palmano's book 'Yes Please. Whatever!, she suggests that we get the teenagers we deserve:

"(Teenage) behaviour is a barometer of how we dealt with them as children and how we deal with them now. So always remember, we only get the teenagers we deserve."

Tell me what you think about the above statement. What are your thoughts?

What is your teenager like? Are they much different from the kind of teeenager that you thought (expect?) that they would be?

Leave your comments here

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™

Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk

E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

+44 (0) 121 551 1668

5 May 2008

Elizabeth Fritzl

Elizabeth Fritzl 5 May 2008

Most people will have heard by now about Elizabeth Fritzl who was drugged and kidnapped by her father Josef Fritzl at the age of 18 and repeatedly raped over the 24 years he held her captive in a garage cellar behind the family home.It is hard to imagine what Elizabeth must have been going through over those years and what kept her alive under such intolerable conditions in a low cellar, living with three of the seven children fathered by her own father.

It is also very hard to believe that no one saw Josef Fritzl taking all kinds of things into his garage – for instance beds, utensils, bathroom unit - which must have seemed strange.As someone who works to liberate parents and young people, this is another example of how diverse, challenging and complicated situations can be within a family environment and also another example of how widespread sexual abuse and incest is across the world. It does not differentiate between colour, creed, gender, race or religion.

Young People

When I work with groups of young people as part of my Born To Win! Programme for Young People, I always say to them not to judge others – their friends and peers - because you never know what happens when that young person goes home. Each young person who is or has been sexually abused will behave differently from another and therefore it is difficult to tell that they have had to endure these experiences. For instance, their behaviour may range from becoming withdrawn, extroverted, promiscuous aggressive, angry or engage in self harm activities (emotional, psychological or physical self harm) due to the self loathing, low self worth, hopelessness and helplessness that they generally experience as a result of sexual abuse or incest.

Tell someone

Elizabeth Fritzl was sexually abused by her father Josef Fritzl from the age of 11. Most children being abused do not tell anyone of their plight, resulting from the sheer fear of reprisals from the abuser, shame, guilt and intimidation, coupled with wondering if anyone would ever believe them. The case of ‘Becky’, a 14 year old British teenager that was brave enough to pluck up the courage to tell adults of her plight, goes a long way to prove this point. ‘Becky’ was consistently ignored until she started self harming and turned to drinks and drugs. It was only then that social services took action to remove her from the family home and placed her in a children’s home. Unfortunately for ‘Becky’, staff at the children’s home “allowed her to be used as a prostitute for fear their intervention might infringe her human rights.”

The extent and gravity of Elizabeth Fritzl’s situation, however, is a stark wake up call to the rest of the world that our children and young people need to be protected and/or liberated, whichever the case may be.
As challenging times lay ahead for the whole family, let's hope that they are given the best support available and thanks also to Natascha Kampusch who lends her support by starting up a fund for the family.
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
Born To Win! book series www.Amazon.co.uk, www.Authorhouse.co.uk and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
Email: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

Email: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

http://www.positiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Jennifer McLeod Inspirational Quotes

Jennifer McLeod Inspirational QUOTES

“You have within you an inner guidance that always knows what you need to do. Trusting this inner guidance will set you free and help you to move the obstacles that you once considered to be mountains.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005

“Get Yourself out of the way so the REAL YOU can get going.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005

“What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005

“Beating yourself up doesn’t make your situation any better; in fact, it only prolongs it.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“When you’ve been “there” you really know it.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“Set yourself up to WIN in life.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“Make your word your bond. It really does matter!”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“When you really go for what you want in life, you are helping more people than you realise”.
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“When you go for what you really want in life, you are helping people more than you realise.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“When you ignore that little niggling feeling inside, it comes back time and time again, bigger and bigger each time until it eventually stops you in your tracks.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“When you follow your heart’s desires and do that one thing that’s been niggling away inside you, it’s likely to be that one thing that will make your heart sing.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

“Take a leap of faith and do it. Sitting back and doing nothing does nothing for the soul”.
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“Embrace life as if you really meant it. Treat it like a long-lost very close friend or family member. Now that you have found it, you will want to do everything possible to hold onto it, cherish it; do more for it; love it and make it better.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“When you get ”there”, it is an experience like no other.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“When you get “there”, it is an experience like no other. However, it is also the time to make sure that your action plans are in place to take you to your next level of “being there.” ‘
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“Which of your characteristics or attitudes are your friends and/or family reflecting back to you?”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“Step Up! to the song inside of you. Following through with that thing that makes your heart sing is likely to help you find your life purpose. Then you will really have something to sing about!”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

What are you waiting for when you have a dream to create? A plan to make? A goal to achieve? A ball to have? Success to Claim?
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/, http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/ and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)

Email:youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

Email: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

http://www.positiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Elizabeth Fritzl

Most people will have heard by now about Elizabeth Fritzl who was drugged, kidnapped and repeatedly raped by her father Josef Fritzl 24 years ago at the age of 18.

It is hard to imagine what Elizabeth must have been going through over those years and what kept her alive under such intolerable conditions in a cellar, with three of seven children fathered by her own father.

It is also very hard to believe that no one saw Josef Fritzl taking all kinds of things into his garage which must have seemed strange.

As someone that works with parents and young people, this is another example of how diverse, challenging and complicated situations can be within a family environment. This story again, is another example of how widespread sexual abuse and incest is across the world. It does not differentiate between colour, creed, gender, race or religion.

As challenging times lay ahead for the whole family, let's hope that they are given the best support available.

leave a comment about this article or ask a question

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/, http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/, and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
http://www.positiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Do You Love ME?

Do You Love ME?

This is the underlying and constant question that children and young people have running through their minds whether on a conscious or unconscious basis. We all have a need to be loved and children and young people are no exception to the rule.Most often than not, however, children and young people may not be aware of this driving need and may act in ways which test their parents’ love for them. Again, they are generally unaware of why they are doing what they are doing because it is an unconscious act governed by the need to be and to feel loved. Though these actions may test some parents’ patience or drive some parents to despair, the trick for the parents is to look behind the behaviour at what children or young people might be trying to tell you. For instance, examples of behaviour might range from minor incidences like some children bedwetting again, creating ‘weird and wonderful’ fantasies that might seem real to them, hyperactivity, to more serious situations like stealing, mixing with the wrong crowd that leads them astray, substance misuse, self harm or even worse, suicide (sadly and steadily on the increase amongst young people and is the second or third highest cause of death for young people). The behaviour is a form of communication to you that tells you that something is going on and again, children especially, and young people may not be able to put into words how they are feeling. They just need that affirmative ‘yes’ in words and actions from their parents.

Where young people are concerned, they have so many challenges going on at this crucial stage of development in their lives, that it is so easy for them to get distracted and perhaps do things that they wouldn't normally do in an attempt to 'find themselves' or 'find me'. It is also a time for them naturally to want to explore and strive for their independence from their parents. Whilst this is a natural part of their growth, this stage still needs to be managed, whereby parents give young people more freedom a little at a time depending on their ability to manage this new found freedom and the responsibilities that it entails. Give them too much freedom at first and it will be difficult to claw it back later on if and when things go wrong. Children and young people of all ages need boundaries, irrespective of their behaviour and them telling you that they are not ‘a kid’ anymore. An Ofsted report 2007 UK reveals that young people believe that teachers treat them like young adults too soon. So whilst they want the extra freedom, they don’t want or are unable to cope with too much of it and therefore the increased responsibilities that it brings.

Another important point about a young person’s need to know that he or she is loved is the natural need for them to see their parents demonstrate that they love them. It might appear that they don’t want to be hugged anymore as they get older, but this is generally a façade that they put on at this stage of their development. Providing you are not ignoring their wishes by hugging them and embarrassing them in front of their friends, (my eldest is 17 years old and he openly initiates and gives me a hug in front of his friends), then always show your children affection. This can be as simple as tapping/touching them on their shoulders, arms, head or back as you walk past them.Brian Tracy, a leading sales and personal development guru, sited an experiment called the Infant Death Syndrome where an experiment with newly born babies showed that half the babies in the experiment were not shown any form of affection and were just fed and changed when necessary. The other half of the babies in the experiment were also changed and fed, given extra attention, affection, hugged and played with. The difference in the development of the growth in the two sets of babies was so stark that the experiment had to be stopped, though too late, as the set of babies which didn’t receive the nurturing and affection, literally shriveled up and some of them actually died. A very potent example to illustrate the point above, as it is so easy to underestimate young people’s need for affection because of the contradictory behaviour that they portray.

If you watch Eastenders in the UK, one of the current storyline running is Lucy Beale running away from home. The episode Friday 02 May 2008 showed Stephen Beale telling Lucy that dad Ian and step mum Jane had almost forgotten about her to the extent where they were thinking of moving Stephen into Lucy’s room. The expression on Lucy’s face was one of obvious disappointment, even though she was the one that ran away.

So what do you do?

Give constant reassurance, praise, love, focused attention and affection and most importantly, LISTEN and give Lots of hugs.

This is not just about positive parenting or just being positive parents as this approach goes over and above that.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

Leave your comments here about this article, and why not share this article with someone who might benefit from it?

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/; http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/ and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

http://www.postiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

28 April 2008

Liberation is on its way!

Parents and young people liberation is here at last!

Doesnt that sound great?

I get really excited at the sound of those words, because that's exactly what i do for parents and young people.

More on this later, for now join me and let me know your comments and the new phase for parents and young people..

Have you been LIBERATED YET?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series - Get your download Ebook at www.Lulu.com
Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk
www.stepup-international.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Parents, if you were an animal.........

Parents

if you were an animal,

what kind of an animal would you be?

why?

how does this play out in your life and with family members?

how does this affect others/your children?

what are the implications for your children and relationships?

any other comment?

thanks for taking part in this mini survey

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk

http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Parents and Young People, have you been liberated yet?

Parents and Young People, have you been liberated yet?

I work with parents and young people from an emotional and psychological perspective, enabling them to get rid of Emotional Roadblocks(tm).If you are a parent or young person, have you been liberated yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

Contact me now to find out more about our services Easy Tiger Parents System(tm) and Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)www.Jennifer-McLeod.blogspot.comwww.stepup-international.co.ukTel: + 44 (0) 121 551 1668

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

2 January 2008

DON'T make NEW YEAR'S Resolutions

DON’T Make New Year’s Resolutions!

Did you achieve the New Year’s Resolutions that you promised yourself in 2007? What about 2006? 2005?

Or, how many of your friends, family or colleagues do you know that that set New Year’s Resolutions and actually achieved them? Not many, I’m sure.

The truth is, New Years Resolutions simply don’t work! They generally don’t work because people lack the real commitment needed to follow through.

SET GOALS instead!!

Setting a goal is far more definitive than having New Years Resolutions

My success formula for achieving any goal is:

Be Specific about the goal (a house)

Deadline when you want to achieve the goal (31 Dec 2012)

Identify the Reasons you want to achieve the goal. What will achieving the goal give you that you don’t already have? (These could be tangible or intangible benefits). The more reasons you have for achieving the goal, the more likely it is that you will achieve that goal

How will you achieve the goal? i.e. break the goal down into smaller, manageable chunks or sub-goals ( contact architect, identify location, visit estate agents, contact builders, survey property, save £………; pay deposit, etc)

Identify deadlines for each of the above Sub-goal and tick each one off as you achieve it

Identify Who can help you to achieve your goal. Chances are you know lots of people already around you who could possibly help you achieve your goal. Failing that, they may know others who could help you

How will you know that you have achieved the goal? How will you Recognise your achievement? What will you see, hear, feel, smell, touch? What is the last thing that you would do or the last step you would make that tells you that you have achieved your goal? Fast forward and take yourself into the future and see, sense or imagine yourself achieving that goal

The more Vivid your Imagination and the more Emotion you attach to the goal, the likelihood it is that you will achieve your goal.

How might you achieving your goal affect other people? (positive or negative outcomes)

Do you still want to achieve your goal?

Once you have decided to go ahead with your goal, then commit 100% to achieving it. TAKE ACTION today!

Good luck!
‘Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity!’

Contact me for further clarification on achieving your goals or to book a Coaching Programme to make 2008 the year for you! Contact me now on 0121 551 1668 or info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

PS: Remember, failing to plan your life is planning to fail!
PPS: Make 2008 the year to remember and that you did achieve something! Contact me now!

CALENDAR of Events 2008 – 2009

February 2008

Thursday 28 February 2008
Create Financial Abundance

2 ½ hour Evening Session to help you get 2008 off to a great start.

Once I had changed my values and created a wealth consciousness, things just started to get better and better for me. Start to create your wealth consciousness and financial abundance from today. If I can do it, you can!

Investment: Only £45
Time: 7.00 – 9.30pm
Venue: Birmingham

April 2008

Wednesday 9 April 2008 (Evening)
Step Up! To your Confidence

Wednesday 30 April 2008
Easy Tiger™ Parent Coaching Workshop
May 2008

Thursday 22 May 2008
The Psychology of Self Harm and Behaviour

June 2008

Friday 27 June 08
Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today!

July 2008

Wednesday 16 July 2008
It’s Ok To Be A Parent!

September 2008

Thursday 18 September 2008 (Evening)
Create Financial Abundance

October 2008

Tuesday 14 October 2008 – Wednesday 15 October 2008
Introduction to Coaching for Managers

December 2008

Tuesday 02 December 2008
Step Up! to Leadership

March 2009

Sat/Sun 21 – 22 March 2009
Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today!

June 2009

Sat/Sun 27 – 28 June 2009
Shape Your Destiny

For further information or to book your place on any of the above Events, contact me now, Jennifer McLeod on +44 (0)121 551 1668 or email info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

6 December 2007

Good Parent - Bad Parent: The Myths

Good Parent - Bad Parent: The Myths

Often when I tell people that I work with parents, they automatically assume that it is single or lone parents or ‘troubled’ parents that I work with who have ‘troubled’ children. They are the ones with the problems! The answer is that I work with all parents. Parent couples, married or not, can bring about their own range of parenting challenges for themselves and their children as much as single parents can.

There is a lot more unhealthy parenting taking place amongst parenting couples than couples (or society) would want to admit to for a range of reasons; whether guilt, shame, lack of awareness of what is really happening, not wanting to be seen as a bad parent or the misconception that couples are not supposed to be the ones who have problems with parenting (?). Parent couples can knowingly or otherwise create situations within the home environment that affects their children. For instance, a child may become jealous with the arrival of a new baby or jealous because they don’t understand why their younger siblings get more attention than they do. These examples might be the obvious ones that many people can easily relate and admit to. In a lot of respects, the child’s behaviour gets worse because they then begin to question their own self worth and wonder if it is because they have done something wrong why mummy and daddy decided to have a new baby or is it because the younger siblings are favourites why they get more attention. Because they haven’t got the answers, they frequently ‘act up’, ‘play up’, ‘misbehave’ or exhibit ‘inappropriate behaviour’ in attempt to find the answer to their challenge and see if what they believe really is true, i.e. that they were bad or did something wrong why mummy and daddy don’t like them, or had a new baby or pay more attention to the younger children.

This belief then gets reinforced by parents, teachers and others in the child’s world because the child is then perceived as bad or doing something wrong because of their behaviour. There is always a root cause to children’s behaviour (and to adults’ behaviour for that matter!). Most often than not the child doesn’t understand why they are feeling so bad inside and therefore are not able to verbalise it so they behave physically (act up) in an attempt tell adults that something is wrong. So then we get into a cycle and self fulfilling prophecy.

What needs to happen is for adults to really understand the root cause of the child’s behaviour and treat them and reassure them accordingly. For instance, the child may appear as an attention seeker at school because they perceive that they are not getting that attention at home. Attention seeking is a form of the child needing to get close to someone, anyone and that is the only way they know how to get that message across to adults. Once the parents and teacher understands the reason for the attention seeking or behaviour, then simple positive things can be done to support and reassure the child that they are ok. For instance, the teacher could give them more responsibilities in the classroom or allow them to sit nearer the front of the classroom. Parents cuould give them more reassurance or and/or age-related rewards and treats including going to bed a little later.

The trick about children’s behaviour is that their behaviour isn’t necessarily obvious about the real cause of their behaviour and their behaviour might be seen as the real problem instead and masks the underlying problem. That is the symptom or behaviour gets treated but not the root cause of the problem.

In respect of single parents, amongst the other challenges that they experience, one of the major challenge that they and their children face is the very insecure, tit for tat behaviour amongst the adults and/or using the children to get back at each other. All of this is harmful for the children and hence the behavioural issues that ensues for the children. For instance, if an absent parent doesn’t visit the child or doesn’t turn up for a visit, the child blames themselves and wonders what they did for that to happen. They then ‘act up’. And then the single parent gets labelled as not being able to bring their children up in a healthy environment, or that they are not able to control their children.

At Step Up! International Ltd we don’t tell people that they are good or bad parents as that would be setting us up as ‘judges’ with superior parenting abilities than anyone else. What we do, however, is allow parents to find their own solutions from a solutions focused perspective.

We acknowledge that people perform so many other different roles as well as their parenting role, and as such allow the parent to look at the whole of their lives and to take a forward looking approach to creating goals and visions that they want for themselves and the whole family. Ultimately, we work with parents to enable them to get rid of Emotional Roadblocks that may be preventing them from living life to the full.

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

1 August 2007

Hurray for Ben! The wicked witch of the East End is Dead!!

Hurray for Ben! The wicked witch of the East End is Dead!!

My 11 year old son called Ben a ‘girl’ because he was sobbing and crying as a result of the emotional, psychological, mental and physical abuse that he had suffered at the hands of Stella, Ben’s dad Phil Mitchell’s fiancée, of the soap Eastenders.

Many boys like my son, and other people, who have never had such experiences as Ben has had, may be of a similar opinion, mainly because they do not understand the seriousness or the complexities of the damage that has taken place as a result of the abuse.

Thousands of children suffer a range of abuse each year at the hands of someone that they know, which is contrary to the general public’s perception of strangers being the main abusers and perpetrators. Abuse can take on so many different forms and shapes and sometimes it can be easy for some parents or relatives to fall into minor elements of abuse with children and young people without realising it. For instance, trying to make a child feel guilty, manipulation and/or the withdrawal of love, or threat of the withdrawal of love to make children do things that they do not want to do. This is particularly the case with adults or parents with low self esteem, self image and low confidence levels.

What normally happens is that the child or young person gets drawn into the cycle of abuse, where the abuser uses coercion, manipulation or threat, until the child or young person find it difficult to distinguish between fact and fiction, as is the case with Ben Mitchell, and in a lot of cases, they find it difficult to get out of the situation, especially if they haven’t got any support, or think that no one would believe them if they told. Thanks, however, to the courage, support and encouragement of Ben’s friend for him to tell someone, Ben gathers up the courage to stand up to his abuser, Stella, at the time when it mattered most - on the wedding day!

Whilst this is a story from a television Soap, abuse very much happens right under our noses in real life, with people left feeling total disbelief, like Peggy and Phil Mitchell, that it could have happened under their roof. The other normal reaction to finding out about abuse is for people to look for someone else to blame for the abuse taking place. Some people blame themselves, blame other adults or even the child or young person caught up in the frightening, humiliating and debilitating situation. Phil Mitchell, the dad in this situation, is starting out on a self-loathing path in his attempt to both blame himself and to deal with the situation. He is at the stage now where he is emotionally unavailable to his son Ben and unable to support him in any way through his own guilt of what ‘he let happen’ to Ben. Eastenders has shown us how easy it is for families to completely miss and/or ignore signs of abuse in our fast paced society.

Children with circumstances like Ben Mitchell are likely to be vulnerable and typical easy preys for abusers, through absolutely no fault of their own. For instance, Ben the character, lost his mother at an early age, came to a new country to a father, brother and family that he doesn’t know and who do not know him. He is therefore searching for something and someone to fill the gap caused by the loss of his mother and the loss of his mother’s love. His dad, character Phil Mitchell is also looking for someone to help fill that void in Ben’s life, to the extent where he overlooked Ben’s mood changes and obvious unhappiness caused by the abuse.

All children ultimately want to be loved and to belong and will gravitate to the person(s) who appear to be providing that love and meeting that need, even if it is in the form of mixed messages from the abuser. As Phil Mitchell says, it doesn’t matter what Stella, the adult, was going through, what mattered was that she was the adult and Ben the child. There are many adults like the character Stella in our society today who have emotional and psychological challenges stemming from their own childhood experiences and conditioning. Adults, however, can choose to get help, support and guidance to deal with these emotional and psychological challenges through a range of counselling, therapeutic and coaching remedies. Therefore, the adult needs to take responsibility for their actions for the abuse and equally, responsibility for their non action if they suspect that a child has been abused. Above all else, do not blame the child or young person for what happened. It is in no way their fault and the child needs to be told that repeatedly and supported and loved throughout the recovery from the experience.

Here some possible signs to watch out for if you suspect that a child, any child, is being abused (emotionally, sexually, physically or psychologically):*

The child or young person:

Changes their character in a dramatic or pronounced way when a particular person(s) is in the same room or nearby

Becomes withdrawn

Becomes a bully, very aggressive or is being bullied

Seeks extra attention

Has unexplained bruises or have far fetched explanations for the bruising

Has genital infections or bruising not normally associated with children

Is acting in a promiscuous way, not normally typical of their age.

*NB: These signs are not to be taken and used in isolation as they could also be the result and symptoms of other issues occurring in the child/young person’s life.

What you can do:

Listen to your children and believe your children

Talk about the situation rather than ignore it or pretend that it didn’t happen. It won’t just go away.

Get counselling or other therapy for your child/the child and yourself

Visit the GP and request a health check for the child or young person. Get a referral from the GP to another service, e.g. child psychiatrist or psychologist

Constantly reassure the child or young person and remind them that it was not their fault.

Give them lots of love

Get support for yourself so that you can be emotionally available to yourself and therefore be able to support the child or young person

Get more information from your local Citizens Advice Bureau about support that might be available in your local area. For instance, Open Door or Head 2 Head are voluntary and charity organisations which specially provide a counselling service and therapy for children and young people in Birmingham and Tipton, West Midlands.

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

5 June 2007

Are You Stressed At Home and Still Doing Far Too Much?

Are you stressed at home and still doing far too much?

Are you stressed at home and still mopping up after your older children?
Do you have older children or teenagers who are not taking responsibility for their actions?
Do your children have total disrespect for you?
Are you sick and tired of the constant energy drain?
Do you just hate the mornings when it’s time to wake up older children because all you get back is a mouthful?
Are you in the firing line every morning?
Do you still do all the housework, go to work and are over-tired?
Do you have difficulty letting go of your children so that they can gain their own independence?
Do your children know how to do the washing up?
Do you smother your children with kindness even though you know it is more harmful than good?
Do you find it hard to say NO to your children?
Do you have children who use your home like a rubbish tip?
Would you like to free up more of your time so that you can have more quality, leisure and pleasure time with your family?
Would you like to have an organised home that runs smoothly?

If you have answered YES, then join us for this Tele-Seminar

You will learn:
How to take the stress out of your day
How you too can have your household running smoothly
How you can get your older children to take responsibility for their actions
How to create more time for yourself and your family
How to gain or re-gain the respect that you deserve

Your Investment: Just £27 (inc vat)

Date: Wednesday 13 June 2007
Time: 8.00pm UK time.

Easy Payment methods by Paypal using your credit card or debit card (you don’t have to have a paypal account – just an email address) or BACS (Bank Transfer)

Register Now! Send an email to Seminar@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk to book your place and enjoy this Tele-Seminar from the comfort of your own home. All you have to do is phone in at 8.00pm to take part. Calls cost 1p per minute. You will get further joining instructions when you Register for the event. Put Tele-Seminar in the subject header of the email. Book Now!

Those tips are really working. I can actually take time away from my nine year old son now who was really clingy before. I can go to my room for ten minutes now without being disturbed and it’s better than before. He is getting a bit more independent now and wants to go out by himself to the corner shop and do things by himself as he feels all grown up now. But I know that it’s me really that’s been holding onto him and I know that I need to start letting go. I will be joining a part time course in August. Thank you.
Rajbinder Somal, Parent

I feel so much lighter now. It feels like the pressure of the driving test has gone. My driving test seems just like a simple, little every day task now, instead of the big challenge it used to be. I can also support my partner more now instead of always being negative and knock every good idea he had in the past.
Donna Campbell, Parent

‘It’s all falling into place now! I thought I was going mad’ (with tears in her eyes)
Carol, Sure Start Parent

‘I was feeling tired, anxious, confused and lacking confidence about whether to leave my current full time job that I love, to work part time because I wanted to spend more quality time with my son of 16 months. I was feeling guilty about him being at nursery and that I was leaving for work early in the morning and only having a short time to spend with him in the evenings, including cooking and cleaning. I had already approached my Supervisor about leaving my full time job and he didn’t want me to go. I love my job and have the responsibility for managing the whole Section.

After working with Jennifer, I felt so totally self assured, confident and calmer in myself and had peace of mind in the decision I had made to stay full time in my current role. I had clarity of what I needed to do for the best for myself and my son and I am confident in my ability to find more creative ways and quality time to spend with him’.
Zalika, Boots

I am a single parent and have two boys myself, 11 and 16 years of age. My 16 year old can cook (and cooks the best pasta bake that I have ever tasted!!!!!), iron, knows how to clean and wash his own clothes and is responsible for getting himself up in the morning. Gone are the days when I used to endure his Billy Goat Gruff attitude first thing in the morning trying to wake him up, which would leave me totally stressed out and feeling out of sorts for the morning!

Although he doesn’t have to wash his own clothes, he ends up doing it from time to time, however, if he has run out of all his favourite clothes! If your children are anything like mine, they only wear their favourite clothes!

I wash his clothes providing they are in the laundry room available for me to wash them!

“When you go for what you really want in life, you are helping people more than you realise.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

I don’t normally watch much television and certainly didn’t used to watch programmes like Wife Swop. I happened to watch my first real episode quite recently, by chance, only because my children were watching it and I thought I would chill out with them at that time.

I found it quite intriguing for all different reasons. One of the episodes that I do remember quite distinctly is where a mother of five children was still doing everything for her 21 year old son (and everyone else), including waking him up every morning and cleaning up his dog’s mess every day! After her Wife Swop experience, she was able to (reluctantly!) allow him to take responsibility for his own actions and make decisions for himself. Is this you?

Children need boundaries and need to learn to take responsibilities for their actions and accountability. This is their preparation for going out into the big wide world!

“Beating yourself up doesn’t make your situation any better; in fact, it only prolongs it.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006

We will be having regular Tele-Seminars over the next few months. Tell me what you want to cover regarding Parenting, Relationships, And Young People. What are your parenting needs that you need to tackle right now?

Your Investment: Just £27 (inc vat)

Date: Wednesday 13 June 2007
Time: 8.00pm UK time.

Easy Payment methods by Paypal using your credit card or debit card (you don’t have to have a paypal account – just an email address) or BACS (Bank Transfer)

Register Now! Send an email to Seminar@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk to book your place and enjoy this Tele-Seminar from the comfort of your own home. All you have to do is phone in at 8.00pm to take part. Calls cost 1p per minute. You will get further joining instructions when you Register for the event. Put Tele-Seminar in the subject header of the email. Book Now!

As ever,
With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

PS: Join us to see how you could take control of your life today and take the stress out of your day
PPS: Book NOW to have your home and life running the way you really want it!

Tel: +44 (0) 121 551 1668

Company Registered No 5633566 Vat Registration Number: 879 191668

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@PositiveInspirationS.co.uk

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