Who is more confused....?

Who is more confused…?

Legal Age for Young People to survive in the UK


Who is more confused? Young people or adults (i.e. adults being government, society, parents, police, teachers)?

Young people are indeed more confused in today’s society more than ever before, but where does all this confusion come from?

One example of the origin of this confusion is regarding legal ages for young people to survive in the UK.

There are many things that I believe contradict the ages stipulated by legislation in order for young people to live and survive in today’s society in the UK.

Young people already receive a range of mixed messages every day from society which adds further to their confusion.

Have a look at the information below relating to legal ages for young people living in the UK and let me know what you think.

For instance,

At the age of 10, young people can:

- Be convicted of an offence, but not imprisoned

At the age of 12, young people can:

- From 12 years old young people can be incarcerated (not imprisoned) in special units, e.g. Local Authority Secure Units (LASUs)

At the age of 13, young people can:

- Be employed for a certain number of hours a week

At the age of 14, young people can:

- Go to the pub, but cannot drink or buy alcohol - Are responsible for wearing a seat belt

At the age of 15, young people can:

- Be a ‘juvenile offender’ in custody in juvenile units in Young Offender Institutions (YOI)

At the age of 16, young people can:

- Get a job
- Get married, with consent from one parent or legal guardian
- Have a baby
- Go to college? (UK legislations have changed recently where young people must stay on at school until they are 18).
- Have a licence to drive/ride a moped
- Buy a national lottery ticket
- Visit a young offender only with their own parents or with written permission from a responsible adult
- Age of consent for sexual relationships
- Claim social security benefit
- Be interviewed by the police with any responsible adult
- Choose their own doctor
- Work full-time
- Leave home with parents’ consent
- Drink wine or beer in a restaurant

At the age of 17, young people can:

- Go to college?
- Visit a young offender with a responsible adult
- Have a provisional driving licence for any vehicle except certain heavy ones
- Be interviewed by the police without parents or any other ‘responsible adult’ and therefore be treated as an adult

- Purchase an air rifle
- Have legal proceedings without involvement of parents or any other responsible adult
- Engage in street trading
- Leave home without parents’ consent

At the age of 18, young people can:

- Change their name
- Buy alcohol (only in some places. The permitted age to buy and consume alcohol varies across the UK from 18 – 25 years of age. Some retail outlets require young people as old as 25 to provide proof of their age)
- Go abroad to sing, play or perform professionally
- Appear before adult courts
- Go to a night club
- Sit on a jury
- Be a ‘young offender’ in custody Young Offender Institutions (YOI)
- Visit a young offender on their own
- Apply for a passport
- Act as an executor of a person’s will

- Be Deported from the UK even if they had, previous to becoming 18 years of age, been looked after by local authorities as a separated and vulnerable young person (separated children is the term used to describe children who are ‘outside their country and separated from their parents or legal or customary carers’)
- Be detained in a detention centre on attaining the age of 18, as an alternative to or prior to deportation as above.
- Buy cigarettes
- Leave school
- Get married without parents’ consent
- Vote
- Bet
- Own houses and land
- Be a blood donor
- Apply for a mortgage
- Buy fireworks
- Hold a licence to sell alcohol
- Drink alcohol in a pub

NB: Some ages may vary in Scotland.

Any surprises here for you? Let me know what you think.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
www.stepup-international.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Manipulative Parents

Hi Melissa

Manipulative Parents
Thank you for your comments and query.

It is always sad and unfortunate for the child caught up in between parents’ fights and manipulative situations.

Each circumstance is different, however. I also appreciate how frustrating this situation can be for you both.

With my situation years ago, I wrote my ex-husband a strong letter about his mistreatment of the children and then backed off, with the letter clearly stating that the boys will see him for what he is and what he is doing to them. Once I had stopped fighting him, my ex-husband didn’t have much to fight about and it was only then that the extent of the harassment (to me) and mistreatment of our sons stopped.

The most essential requirement in your situation is for you and your husband to be totally open and honest with your stepson about exactly what is going on. My advice would be to stay strong, supportive, and available for your stepson, encouraging him to talk about the situation.

Perhaps another way forward is sending his mum a written proposal of how the holidays could be shared and keep a copy of the letter, which at a much later date could be shown to your stepson if the situation continues.

My own parenting plan includes my children alternating between spending Christmas and New Year with us respectively. That is, this year, it’s their dad’s turn to have the boys for the whole of the Christmas week and my turn to have them for the whole of the New Year week. Next Year it will be my turn to have them for the whole of the Christmas break. The children know this and therefore they know what to expect and have adjusted to the arrangements accordingly.

As your stepson gets older, he will also be in a position to choose who he wants to spend Christmas with and will start to see things for himself. He will also start asking questions as to why he is not able to see his dad at Christmas.

As far as taking the situation back to court to find a solution, only you and your husband will know if that is the best solution for you all.

For a more in-depth elaboration on this topic and solutions to move forward, Read More Here: http://snurl.com/20u2qw  

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

How Do You Stop or Deal With A Manipulative Parent?

How Do You Stop Or Deal With A Manipulative Parent?

Some parents get blinded by their own emotions and stuff going on in their lives that they fail to see the affects, hurt and damage caused by their actions. One of such examples is a parent who use and manipulate their children to get their own way against the other parent.

In my opinion, anyone who uses innocent children in that way is a coward.

So what do you do if you find yourself in the position of having your partner or your ex use and manipulate your children to get back at you or get their own way? How do you deal with the situation if they are the manipulative parent?


Well, first and foremost be clear and acknowledge that this has nothing to do with your child (children) and that it is you that your partner or ex is really attempting to get back at or hurt in some way. Also, be clear that your son/daughter is NOT responsible for being used in this way, they are just children and it is all about your partner’s manipulative parenting!


For a more in-depth elaboration on this topic and solutions to move forward, Read More Here: http://snurl.com/20u2qw 

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™

Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk

E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Young Lone Fathers - TV documentary

Hi there,

I have had a request from Lucy below, regarding a proposed TV documentary. Whilst I work with teenage parents as part of my Easy Tiger Parent System™, I haven't worked with young lone fathers yet.

Do you know any young lone fathers? If you are able to help in any way, please contact Lucy directly on the details below.

"I am interested in speaking to someone about the parent coaching sessions you hold for teenagers with regard to a project I am working on for the BBC.

My name is Lucy Hinson and I am a researcher for Love Productions - a highly respected documentary production company whose credits include Young Mums’ Mansion and Filthy Rich and Homeless.

We are currently working on a new documentary programme following young single dads and their experiences of bringing up a child. Young single dads are often overlooked by the media and society at large and we want to find out what life is really like for lone fathers bringing up a child on their own and how this may compare or contrast with the experiences of young single mothers.

We are particularly interested in speaking to young dads, between 15 and 18 years old, who are the main or sole carer of their children, whether as a result of relationship breakup, illness, custody decisions, bereavement etc.

I’m hoping to speak to as many individuals, professionals and support groups as possible who may have experience in this field. If you or someone you know can help, it would be greatly appreciated. At this stage I am conducting background research into the subject so even if the idea of taking part in a TV programme doesn’t appeal, I would still like to hear from you. All information will of course be in strictest confidence.

I can be contacted on 0207 067 4838 or by email lucy.hinson@loveproductions.co.uk."

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

How many dormant ‘lizards’ do you have lying around?

How many dormant ‘lizards’ do you have lying around?

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results” Einstein

Too often we allow our fears to hold us back believing them to be real and unchangeable. Most often than not, they are really nothing at all like we imagined them to be.

The following example of my eldest son and his friend illustrates this point:

One night whilst on holiday abroad at Easter, my eldest son and his friend believed they spotted a lizard near the hotel. That night they were playing ‘macho’ boys pretending not to be scared, though it was evident that they were. The next morning they went back to check if the lizard was still there. To their surprise it was not a lizard at all, but…… a piece of a branch. There was obvious relief and excitement when they discovered that the ‘lizard’ was not a lizard at all. Had they not gone back to check, they probably would have lived the rest of their lives believing that Spain was a scary place to visit as it had ‘lizards.’

So let me ask you: How many dormant ‘lizards’ do you have lying around? Go back and check your fears again. How real are they now? Do they even look anything like the ‘lizards’ you imagined them to be?

Quick TIP:
For a reality check and to release your ‘lizards’: write down your ‘lizards’ (situation/fear) on a piece of paper and then ask yourself the following:

· How real is this ‘lizard’?
· What else could this ‘lizard’ mean?
· How much longer will I allow this ‘lizard’ to control my actions, my life?
· Is this ‘lizard’ worthy of me?
· What if it were ok to let go of this ‘lizard’ now?

Allow yourself to let go of your ‘lizards’ today. Or will you allow them to cancel the rest of your life?

If you are a parent, on a psychological level, your children pick up on the ‘lizards’ that you are holding onto. Generally they will repeat these same patterns if you continue to hold onto them. Are you happy with your ‘lizards’? Do you really want to hold onto them? Are you happy to transfer them to your children?

(Of course if you really do have giant ‘alligators’ then you need to seek help to get rid of them. Take that action today.)

Good luck and let me know how you got on.

Feedback

Your feedback is important to me. Leave a comment about this article here or send to parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk

Forward this Article

Lastly, if you have found this article beneficial, others you know might too. Please forward it today to anyone you think might find it useful

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

All rights reserved (c) 2008

Andrew Johnston beat the bullies

• Andrew Johnston beat the bullies!
  By Jennifer McLeod, June 2008
  
  I applaud Andrew Johnston, 13 year old contestant on ‘Britain’s Got Talent 2008 Show’, for having the courage to admit to 12 million people across the nation that he was being bullied because of the love of his passion……..singing opera.
  
  I want to let Andrew Johnston know that it is absolutely ok for him to cry when he didn’t win the coveted prize of appearing on the Royal Variety Show, BUT he won the nation’s heart!

• He is a winner because of his courage!
• He is a winner because he stood up to the bullies!
• He is a winner because he has the most superb natural voice for his age! (and as singing was my childhood ambition I would have loved to have had his voice when I was his age).
• He is a winner because he showed not only the judges, but especially the bullies, what he is really made of!
• He is a winner because he gained great confidence and height in just a matter of weeks
• He is a winner because HE CAN!!
  
  All respect to Andrew’s mum who stood by him and continued to support and nurture him throughout a time in their lives which must of been particularly difficult when he was being bullied for his passion.
  
  “When you follow your heart’s desires and do that one thing that’s been niggling away inside you, it’s likely to be that one thing that will make your heart sing.”
  Jennifer McLeod © 2006
  
  Young people are bullied for all kinds of reasons, which includes being different. I was privileged to be crewing with Tony Robbins in October 2006 when a 14 year old teenager, Laura, shared with an audience of 13,000 that she had attempted suicide 5 times because she was excluded from all groups at school for being different……… …why?…she liked rock music!! Tony Robbins had Laura rocking on stage to her favourite rock music and she had 13 thousand adults applauding and rocking with her. She truly rocked! And was a changed young lady by the time she left that seminar. Laura was able to appreciate that it was truly ok to be different and that it was people who are different that are shaping the world, movers and shakers and having an impact on other people’s lives. You only need to think about people like Nelson Mandela, Hitler, Mother Teresa and the Tallest Man in the World
  
  Another group of young people and teenagers being bullied at school are very bright, intelligent boys who then pretend that they don’t have that brilliance just to fit in with their peers. Let’s teach the other young people to look at and accept their own brilliance with the strong message that there is no need to be frightened of their brilliance!
  
  “When you go for what you really want in life, you are helping people more than you realise.”
  Jennifer McLeod © 2006
  
  Bullying is one of the topics that I cover with young people as a part of my Born To Win! Programme for Young People. The Programme helps young people and teenagers to discuss the negative messages that they are getting from society at large and from their own home or school environments, and how they can replace the negative messages with more empowering beliefs for themselves, to create the life they want as apposed to the life that they fall into.
  
  
  “I didn't belong as a kid, and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier”
  Bette Midler
  
  What can we do as adults and parents to help young people and teenagers be more accepting of others? This for me, starts with adults and parents! How much are we accepting of others including young people and teenagers and how much do we accept ourselves? We only need to look at newspaper articles or listen to the news to see how much adults do not like people who are different and how we can make people’s lives hell because of their differences!
  
  The Independent reports that more and more adults in the UK are afraid of young people and teenagers, however, labelling teenagers as ‘yobs’ or ‘tyrants’ does nothing to alleviate this. It’s only a minority of teenagers that are violent or hurt other people.
  
  “Children always know more than they can put into words: that distinguishes them from us adults, who usually put into words so much than we know.”
  J.Lusseyran
  
  Young people and teenagers are given so much stick in today’s society that it’s any wonder that any of them survive the stereotypes and assumptions as a generation with healthy mindsets. With so much negative press aimed at young people, it can be difficult to encourage young people to be confident in themselves.
  
  The judges on ‘Britain’s Got Talent Show’, Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden?, Piers Morgan, did a great job (in the main), of boosting young people and teenagers courage, confidence, and self esteem with their constructive comments (in the main). Kate from Kate and Gin Act leaves the Show a changed person from the very shy nervous person to being able to step outside of her comfort zone and step up to the challenge of being on stage in front of thousands of people.
  
  Numerous young people from 8 years old upwards entered the Finals, showing adults what they really can do, working and fighting hard to get that coveted prize and place in the Royal Variety Show. From their absolutely brilliant performances, it was inevitable that at least one young person would be in the top 3 and were favourites to win, and sure enough, two of them were: George Sampson (the winner), Andrew Johnston (third place and a winner in his own right) and Signature (adults – runner up).
  
  The semi-finals of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ was dominated by young people and teenagers, including:
  
• The Cheeky Monkeys – aged 8 & 9
• Andrew Johnston - Opera
• Nemesis – Street Dance Group who trained and practiced at any available opportunity after work and any available space they could call their own, even if it meant practicing at a bus stop/shelter instead of dance studio with mirrors. Sheer will power and determination, and that’s what I really like about this group, apart from the fact that they are great dancers.
• George Sampson – singing in the rain ‘Mr Determination’
• Faryl Smith – where did she get that voice? A very ‘mature’ 12 year old and indeed very special
• Escala – fantastic talent and entertaining, string quartet
• Kate and Gin – very unique Act and Kate’s ability to communicate with Gin, the dog, is out of this world!
• Andrew Muir – plumber from Scotland and lot more besides!
  
  George Sampson won because of his sheer fighting spirit and determination to win and continue in his self belief to prove to the judges that they were wrong about him last year. That said, he is also a very talented teenager who was busking on streets in UK, before he auditioned for the ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ Show
  
  This is the first time for years that I have watched so much television, but it was worth it, watching children, young people and teenagers excel in the way that they did.
  
  I do not normally watch the Royal Variety Show, but this year I will make an exception and it will be one not to be missed!
  
  These young people and teenagers were all winners and clearly Born To Win!
  
  If you need any clarification or support on any of the serious matters of bullying or supporting teenagers and young people, contact me, Jennifer McLeod on youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
  
  © Jennifer McLeod 2008

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Parents of yobs face court threat

Parents of yobs face court threat

pa.press.net - 01.06.2008 06:15 FROM MSN NEWS

Here's an article that I got from MSN News today, hot off the press. See what you think.

Parents who fail to stop their children drinking in public face court action in a new drive by ministers to get a grip on drunken youths marauding the streets.
The move will be unveiled as part of a raft of measures designed to curb binge-drinking among teenagers and children as young as 10.

Youths who regularly drink alcohol in public will be committing an offence under new legislation.
Police will also be handed tougher powers to disperse gangs of youngsters congregating in the street and other popular hangouts like parks and bus shelters.

The cross-Whitehall drive comes amid heightened concern among voters about anti-social behaviour and alcohol abuse among younger people.

It will see teenagers persistently possessing alcohol in public subjected to anti-social behaviour orders (Asbos) and acceptable behaviour contracts.

Their parents will be hit by similar orders and contracts - including the requirement to attend parenting courses - if they fail to get their children to "change their ways". Ultimately, they could be prosecuted.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said professionals would be called in where parents were unable to handle their offspring.
"Groups of under-18s drinking in public are an all too familiar sight," she said.
"This type of drinking increases youth anti-social behaviour and crime, puts young people in vulnerable situations and I want to put a stop to it."



What do I think?

Me, I think this is just another way of the government driving another wedge between parents and young people, teenagers and applying even more pressure to parents and their teens than perhaps already exists, because the government fails to prevent shopkeepers from selling alcohol to young people. The question to ask, is how did the teenagers get the drink in the first place?

Worst still, the police will be given even more powers to DISPERSE young people on if they congregate in a group in PARKS, STREETS OR BUS SHELTERS!

This for me is just another example of the government and the police heightening the problem and stereotypes about young people. If young people and teenagers can't meet as a normal group in the PARK, where else can they meet!!???? The young people are referred to in the article above as 'yobs' and 'gangs'. Is it any wonder why more and more adults are needlessly fearful of teenagers when we are constantly bombarded with such negative language and images of young people??!!

What do you think? Have you say here

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Did you know it was an inside job?

Did You Know it was an “Inside Job”?

People come into your life for a reason and being in a relationship provides us with undoubtedly the hardest challenges we face as adults as we are seldom taught to truly love ourselves as children, yet we are expected to know how to love other people as adults in very deep, meaningful, life changing situations such as that posed by marriages and other long term relationships. Relationships teach us, help us to learn life’s lessons and certainly help us to grow as more tolerant human beings if we choose to take up that opportunity. In order to truly love someone else, we must first learn and re-learn to love ourselves. It is impossible to love anyone else more than we love ourselves. The extent of the love we give out is a direct reflection of the love we have for ourselves.

“Be the change you want to see” Mahatma Ghandi

My ‘other half’

We get fooled into thinking that the other person only needs to be ‘half ok’ and that we will make up the other half of the relationship, hence the all too common phrase ‘’my other half’’. A healthy relationship needs both parties to be whole, complete individuals in and of themselves, bringing their own happiness, uniqueness, love and abilities into the relationship.

My partner is not meeting my needs

A lot of times if we are feeling unfulfilled in our relationship, we tend to aim the focus of our discontent at our partners without taking sufficient time to focus on what we might be doing to exacerbate the situation. I know it is easily done and I have fallen prey to this situation myself in my previous marriage. One of the things I was guilty of was focusing on what my ex-husband was or was not doing within the relationship. When I had LEARNT to shift the focus from him to myself, it was only then that I was able to focus on what I was doing and or not doing in the relationship. I had to LEARN to take control of my own happiness and decided that it would not depend on whether my ex-husband or anyone else was making me happy.


What are your needs?

Sometimes we think we know what our needs are, however, when it comes to naming them, we get stuck. If you were to ask your partner today to meet your needs better, what would you say? Do you know what your REAL needs are? Which needs are not being met?

When was the last time you did something spontaneous or special for your partner without expecting something in return? How are you meeting your partner’s needs? Do you know what your partner’s needs are? If you don’t know, then ASK them. Find out what they need in order to feel loved and connected. Sometimes just BEING THERE, being PRESENT is enough. If your partner is not meeting your needs, chances are you may not be meeting theirs either.

Inside Job

You’ve got to give to others first before you can get what you want. If you want a better relationship, go to work on YOU. The problem is not necessarily out there and is usually an ‘inside job’. That is, rather than looking externally and pointing the finger at your partner, look within first. Rather than trying to ‘fix’ them, ‘fix’ you instead. Identify what you want in an ideal relationship and Start to act the way you would like your ideal relationship to be.

Identify where the ‘problem’ really lies: is it you, your partner or the relationship itself. Be honest with yourself and your partner. When you have identified the ‘problem’ then go to work on finding solutions and changing it.

True, Authentic Self

So, if you want your relationship to be better and grow, GO TO WORK ON YOU TODAY. As you love you more and more, and find your true, authentic self, you will be in a better position to give and share more of your love with your partner.

Loving Inspirations From Children

If you are still feeling unsure about what love is, here’s some inspirations from some children. Enjoy!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

”When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

”Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

”I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an imagination) Karen - age 7

Forward this Article

Lastly, if you have found this article beneficial, please forward it to anyone you think might find it useful or direct them to my blog site http://www.jennifer-mcleod.blogspot.com/


Has this Article been forwarded to you?

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Have you been LiBERATED yet?

Liberating parents and young people.

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Elizabeth Fritzl Revisited – A Real Wake Up Call!

Elizabeth Fritzl Revisited – A Real Wake Up Call!

D’you know the original blog that I posted about Elizabeth Fritzl’s situation has been my most popular blog ever with over a 1000 (thousand) viewers clicking on it within one week of posting the blog on a particular social network site. And yet, even though it has been my most popular blog, I have not had a single comment left by my viewers, NOT ONE, compared to my other blogs.

What Does It Mean?

What does that mean? What could it mean? Is it that as a nation we don’t know what to say about sexual abuse, incest and rape and degrading another person? Is it that we are so disgusted by it that we are all rendered speechless? As stated in my original blog (Elizabeth Fritzl), sexual abuse and incest is widespread across the world, religion, creed, colour, race and gender.

Self Harm

Many of you will already know that my passion and mission is to liberate parents and young people. In one of my programmes for professionals working with children and young people (The Psychology of Self Harm & Behaviour), I share with delegates that one of the main reasons young people resort to self harm (hair pulling, ‘cutting’, drugs, alcohol, emotional abuse, compulsion to steal, gambling or obsession with fire) is because they have been sexually abused.

Coping Strategy

The self loathing, self degradation, hopelessness, helplessness, self hatred, shame and sheer emotional pain that they experience becomes so overwhelming that they feel unable to cope with it all and resort to self harm or self injury as a coping strategy and release from the emotional pain. Relief and control are the top two reasons that young people state for harming themselves and self harming is the number one reason for young people ending up in Accident and Emergency departments.

Speak Up!

So if as adults we feel unable to speak out against sexual abuse, incest and rape of children and young people, how then will we engender, encourage, support and engage children and young people in speaking out when they encounter such experiences?

‘Changing people’s attitudes towards mental health and counselling, and letting young people know that it’s alright to ask for help, that admitting you need help and support doesn’t mean that you have failed. Counselling needs to make more available to young people.’ 24 year old (Breaking Down Barriers Report – Youth Access)


In the UK, in recent years, more and more adults have started to speak out about their own experiences, whether they occurred in children’s homes, convents or at home amongst their family, and how these experiences have affected their lives today.

Our inability as adults to speak out goes a long way to demonstrate why children and young people are powerless to speak up or speak out about their plight, coupled with fear of reprisals from the perpetrator(s). In the majority of sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is someone that is known to the child or young person, generally a family member, which means that children and young people are torn between standing up for themselves and family loyalty. Children are very protective of their parents irrespective of how good, bad or indifferent their parents are. Perpetrators are and can be any member of the community and at any echelon within the community. Josef Fritzl was deemed to be a respectable member of his community.

Who Would Believe Me?

‘Who would believe me?’ is the question that young people grapple with in these situations. Does the other parent already know? Are they in denial? What would happen to them if they did tell? Do they want to take on the added burden and ‘responsibility’ of breaking up the family home and shattering relationships with their parents and their siblings? How would they cope if they did? Who would support them if they did? Who could they turn to?

Some adults who pluck up the courage to speak out about their experiences become alienated by their families, are accused of lying and accused of breaking up the family home. If this is what happens to an adult, then what chance have young people got?

Review of Youth Information, Advice and Counselling Services

A review of Youth Information, Advice and Counselling Services (YIACS) 2001 by Youth Access in England, revealed that young people’s emotional and mental health needs are not being met adequately. They concluded that there was not a specific service for young people as apposed to those for children and adults.

Society Fails Young People

Additionally, it would seem that social services are more confused and entangled in policy regarding children’s rights and ‘infringement of their human rights’ than focusing on the need to protect the children as in ‘Becky’s’ situation, “for fear their intervention might infringe her human rights.”

It would therefore appear that at all levels, society is failing children and young people and yet, we wonder why some young people ‘go off the rails’, are ‘yobos’, have no respect’, ‘have no manners’, or are turning to suicide as an escape route. What other choices have we given them?
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

Feedback

Give children and young people a voice. Let me have your comments, feedback, thoughts, ideas, or even feedback describing your challenge with leaving a comment about this article.

Your feedback is important to me. Leave a comment about this article here or send to youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk


Forward this Article

Lastly, if you have found this article beneficial, please forward it to anyone you think might find it useful or direct them to my blog site http://www.jennifer-mcleod.blogspot.com/

Thank you

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Born To Win! book Series:

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Are you a manager or business owner in denial?

Are you a manager or business owner in denial?

• Are you one of those managers or business owner who denies that your personal life is creating havoc for you?



• Do you deny the impact that your personal life’s challenges is having on your work and business environment?



• Do you take your personal situation out on your colleagues, staff and team members or associates?



• Have you become the office bully because you can't see another way out?



• Do you find that the pretence of having a perfect home life is weighing you down?



• Is the façade or pretence distracting you from your business priorities and success?



• Are your business and working relationships starting to fall apart too?



• Do you recognise how much you are making your work colleagues lives life miserable by your actions or inactions?

• Are others walking on egg shells and tip toeing around you right now for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing that might upset you?
  
  
  Well there is a way out……….! My 3 Month Parent & Relationship Liberation Programme is designed to help people just like you! Yes YOU too. Help you to throw out the challenges that are impacting on your personal and business life to get the clarity and find solutions that you need to create the path for your future success.
  
• Most people seem to think that because I work with parents, it must mean that I work with 'bad parents' or 'troubled families' or 'parents whose teenagers have gone wild'. The truth is I work with ALL PARENTS!

I had a client in the past who was a successful businessman and who had different challenges going on in his personal and business life. His personal challenge regarding his children caused him the greatest anguish and had been for a number of years. This situation had also spilled over into his workplace and clearly affected the working environment and the strain he endured was evident to his staff.

When we first worked together he shared both challenges and his natural reaction was to work on the working relationship situation challenging him at work. Once he had the clarity he needed regarding his work situation, he didn’t think for one minute (or he couldn’t bring himself to ask for help) that he could use the same coaching process to get clarity and solutions relating to his personal situation!

Is this you too? Do you plod along with your head in the sand hoping that your personal situation will sort itself out? Or do you not allow yourself to recognise that you even have a personal challenge that needs attention?

I was speaking to a very good associate and contact of mine who is a business coach and he revealed that one of his main challenges with his clients is their personal life! Whilst he could only support them so much regarding their business challenges, goals and breakthroughs, he recognised that all of that work could be to no avail because their lives were having such a detrimental impact on their business life, to the extend where things could go ‘belly up’ but unfortunately his business owner clients do nothing about it. Is this you?

Do you know, we all have 'stuff' going on in our lives, no matter who we are or what we are? We wouldn't be humans if we didn't. What matters most is how we deal with the 'stuff' or challenges that we face on a regular basis.

Even the greatest of the greats and most successful people among us have personal challenges and ‘stuff’ going on! How they handle it is what matters most.

My 3 Month Parent & Relationship Liberation Programme is designed to help people just like you!

Contact me now for a FREE NO OBLIGATION CONSULTATION to see how I can liberate you to skyrocket your success!

“The coaching helped me to focus on what I need to prioritise in my life and how to effectively achieve these changes. Jennifer challenged me and took me to the edge of my comfort zone at times which is exactly what I needed.”
Ali Murray, Ignition Training & Development

“I have made massive changes to my lifestyle already by making a positive decision to move to Northern Ireland, actually taking steps to arrange accommodation, applying for employment and organising to rent my home out in Birmingham. This has all taken place within approximately 4 weeks. Jennifer made me sit up and do something positive about it, to actually improve my life for me and for once in my life to actually put myself first. I am extremely grateful to Jennifer to give me the strength and courage to take these steps. Jennifer has helped me to turn my life around for the better.”
Jackie Scott

“It’s not just work-focused coaching that people need. They need a balance as other things affect people’s performance.”
David Battersby, Manager, Midland Heart

To have the business opportunities that you want, or to do your business networking with confidence and to put more money in your business wallets Contact me, Jennifer McLeod now info@jennifermcleod.co.uk or +44 (0) 121 551 1668 to see how I can liberate you.

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Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

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Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People™

E: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
E: youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.jennifermcleod-author.blogspot.com/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

More feedback re Parents, Do you deserve the teenagers you have?

I have been getting a range of comments about my articles on other sites that i have posted them and i have a very interesting response from someone, that i thought you might want to read here too!

I would like to hear from you about any of these articles or blogs, so feel free to leave your comments at the end of the article. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Here goes:

Hi Jennifer

I am happy for u to use my comments if they are useful.

i think we need to start changing the way that we see children. if u remember many years ago, children had a lot of responsibilities from a young age, perhaps too many, well in current times they don’t have enough. We need to strike a balance. Also in the years of past the children had a lot of responsibilities but were also treated with a lack of respect for their intelligence. Children do seem to get treated like second class citizens a lot of the times. Some treat their children in ways that they would never treat an adult even though that adult may be a stranger.

let me give you two scenarios, both of which actually happened:

1)-there is a knock at the door, you r expecting a guest, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into your 7 year old who has followed u to the door, u turn around aghast, in a mean tone with and an angry face, u utter or shout something like, oh God, what r u doing there? Did u have to stand behind me?!! Kind of like insinuating ' u stupid child'.

2) -you and a friend are on your way out, u go and open the door and whilst backing up to open it, u bump into ur friend who has followed u to the door and is standing quite close to u, u gasp, oops! u turn around apologetically and say 'I’m so sorry'!

What’s the difference here?

They are both human beings with feelings. Jennifer i would have to say that i disagree that children would be made fun of if they r included in the running of the house and given responsibilities. I’m not sure i understand what u mean by they would be made fun of, could u please explain?i believe that if we involve our children in some of the decisions and also give them important jobs to do, (even if we have to sometimes do them over.) it gives children a sense of importance and belonging, rather than an 'us and them' atmosphere. This is how children grow and separate themselves from the home and their social life and friends become more important than their mother and father.

i remember explaining to a friend that even if they got their young 5 year old to tidy up one of the kitchen cupboards it would give him confidence. she used to have a cupboard at floor level with canned food etc. this particular friend would never give the child things to do that were household jobs because she didn’t think the job would get done properly (this is not the point of the exercise at this age, the point is to involve the child, give them a feeling of importance, confidence, that u trust them with ur things or the household things), she would only tell him and his older brother to tidy their own toys and rooms, nothing that involved the children in the house as a whole rather than just 'their' toys 'their' room.

If a person does not feel included, they look elsewhere to feel a sense of belonging; it is the same for children. If they don’t feel included in the home, they start to look elsewhere for that sense of belonging.

Alliyah, Marketing Executive

Lingoworx Language Associates

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Jennifer McLeod

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Comments to my blog 'Parents, do you deserve the teenagers you have?

Parents, Do you deserve the teenagers you have?by Jennifer McLeod on 8-May



I think this is an over-generalisation. There are distinct differences in personality and character between family members, and nurture often doesn't explain them. Parents soon know that their children come with built-in unique features that can delight and also surprise. I've been working with children and young people for over 20 years now, and have also researched young people with emotional and behavioural difficulties for a master's degree. Some of the teenagers I see are pretty wild, on the verge of exclusion from school, and their behaviour at home is also very challenging. Whenever possible I meet with the parents and siblings as well, and we all combine as a team, so I get to see the whole family dynamic at work.Even after all this time, I'm still frequently amazed by the dramatic variations between children in families - brought up by the same parents with no obvious disruptive events or major stress points to differentiate one from the other - yet one teenager is acting up, self-harming, violent, on drugs - whatever the response is - and another sibling (or siblings) are adapting well and 'normal'.These parents haven't treated their children any differently, they have given them all the same love and care, established the same boundaries - and have demonstrated a successful parenting model - and it is a huge shock to them when one of their offspring goes off the rails. In such cases, I would hesitate to say that they 'deserve the teenagers they have'. It's a complex subject and needs careful handling - apportioning blame to anyone doesn't change anything.
Christine Miller - Editor

Hi Christine

totally agree about blame!!!i work with parents and young people from an emotional and psychological perspective. My take is that parents do the best they can with the resources that they have. The young person that might have ‘gone off the rail’ or is self harming may have picked up on little nuances or psychological stuff coming from the parent(s) towards them that the parents themselves may not even realise. The young person turns this into all kinds of ‘weird and wonderful’ things in their heads both at a conscious and unconscious level. That is they internalize their perception of what their parents or other important adults around might be projecting onto them. They then run and re-run this perception until the result is low self esteem, low confidence, not feeling good about themselves or self harm etc etc. so yes, on the surface, it might appear that all the siblings were treated the same, however....
Jennifer


I like to think so.My kids were wonderful teenagers (one of them still is).Both very different characters, but both are happy, thoughtful, ambitious, caring, loyal friends, great fun.Not sure I can take all the credit 'tho. They are their own people.
John

hi John
thanks for replying to my blog. it's nice to hear something postive about young people. my youngest (12) is just starting to go through the changes so giving him his space - and still learning to how many do you have?
Jennifer


It's the old nurture-nature story again, isn't it? How a teenager turns out cannot be attributed to one element, i.e. the nurture bit, but is the result of a combination of factors and influences. We shouldn't take too seriously the way that some people feel any outcome can be controlled, and is the entire result of earlier events and circumstances. In our current climate whereby everything must be manipulated, managed and measured to the ninth place of decimal, we've got to accept that some things are just up to luck.
SUZE
S u z a n S t M a u r. c o m Ghostwriter, Editor

Suzan

i agree about different contributory factors. when i work with parents too, i work with them from a whole person perspective, because other factors have an impact on their ability to parent the way that they might want to tell me more about what you do. i am an author and in middle of 3rd book, however might need to use services like yours for other projects, including ebooks
Jennifer


It is the usual 50/50 split idea again. Each of us has a unique temperament but how the world receives and helps us is crucial. Parents need to believe that they are an important influence but not that their children are born formless for them to shape as they choose. I was one of 3 and we were totally different. My elder brother had what would now be called special needs and my parents were made to feel guilty and totally at fault. That's what first got me interested in psychology.An optimistic take on your quote would then encourage parents to feel empowered and hopeful for their child's future. But it could be seen as a rebuke which would scare some parents if not all was well. I often work with families where just one child is finding it tough. Usually it is a mix of what the child and the adults bring to the relationship. Just like mixing cocktails it depends on the ingredients. We read about parenting style as if it's a set formula, whereas being tuned into who your child is is just as important.
Jeni HooperHappy2Learn

Thanks for responding to blog Jeni

Formula? hhhmmmm! i tell parents that i enable them to parent in the way that is 'just right for you' because each child/parent mix will unique.What’s your specific niche with families?
Jennifer

Children are little people and should be treated with respect for their opinions etc and given more credit than they are given. the problem with western society is that it seems to think 'let them stay young for as long as they can' but when they become teenagers suddenly want them to behave like sensible adults when all along they have not been giving them responsibilities, credit for their opinions while children, teaching them that life is not all play and fun. no preparation is involved, it is best to start to prepare them from a young age for adulthood so that it becomes natural for them, little by little. i also don't understand how the west defines someone who is in puberty a child. if a girl or boy reaches the average age to be able to produce babies, they are hardly children anymore in a physical sense, so perhaps we need to look at this and prepare them mentally, throw out the old saying 'let them stay young for as long as they can' it doesn't help anyone, we aren't doing anyone any favors this way. those children grow to become teenagers (young adults) without the mental preparation needed for their age group, act inappropriately for their age, get fed up being treated as if they know nothing, get frustrated because of the lack of respect so then rebel.
AlliyahMarketing ExecutiveLingoworx Language Associates

hi Alliyah

thanks for responding to this blog.i agree. children are given mixed messages on their journey and get frustrated and confused in terms of what they are supposed to do.the other challenge is that if one child is treated as you described, they would stand out like a sore thumb and be picked on, unfortunately.where are you from?i am writing my 4th book about parents, which probably wont be ready until 2010 (as i am still in the middle of book 3), would you mind if i use your comments in the book? this wasn’t the original intention of blogging the statement, however i think you make a very valid point
Jennifer

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What is happiness?

What is happiness?

What makes you happy? How do you know when you are happy?

Expert on happiness and Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says happiness is:

‘a condition that must be prepare for, cultivated, and defended privately, by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is close as any of us can come to being happy.

It is being fully involved with every detail of your lives, where good or bad, that we find happiness, not trying to look for it directly.

Happiness is a circuitous path that begins with achieving control over the contents of our consciousness.’

Viktor Frankl says:

Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue…..as the unintended side-effect of ones personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

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Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book Series:

Born To Win! Live Your Ultimate Life Vision Today. NEW RELEASE!!! Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6lf3gj

Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

Born To Win! Success Strategies - EBOOK. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/66hovs

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™
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Cancer Research - Race for Life -UK 2008


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Born To Win! Success Strategies for Young Businesses and New Entrepreneurs. Get your copy here: http://tinyurl.com/6x6u9t

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Parents, do you have the teenagers you deserve?

Parents, do you have the teenagers you deserve?

Reading Penny Palmano's book 'Yes Please. Whatever!, she suggests that we get the teenagers we deserve:

"(Teenage) behaviour is a barometer of how we dealt with them as children and how we deal with them now. So always remember, we only get the teenagers we deserve."

Tell me what you think about the above statement. What are your thoughts?

What is your teenager like? Are they much different from the kind of teeenager that you thought (expect?) that they would be?

Leave your comments here

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Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System™

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+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Elizabeth Fritzl

Elizabeth Fritzl 5 May 2008


Most people will have heard by now about Elizabeth Fritzl who was drugged and kidnapped by her father Josef Fritzl at the age of 18 and repeatedly raped over the 24 years he held her captive in a garage cellar behind the family home.It is hard to imagine what Elizabeth must have been going through over those years and what kept her alive under such intolerable conditions in a low cellar, living with three of the seven children fathered by her own father.

It is also very hard to believe that no one saw Josef Fritzl taking all kinds of things into his garage – for instance beds, utensils, bathroom unit - which must have seemed strange.As someone who works to liberate parents and young people, this is another example of how diverse, challenging and complicated situations can be within a family environment and also another example of how widespread sexual abuse and incest is across the world. It does not differentiate between colour, creed, gender, race or religion.

Young People

When I work with groups of young people as part of my Born To Win! Programme for Young People, I always say to them not to judge others – their friends and peers - because you never know what happens when that young person goes home. Each young person who is or has been sexually abused will behave differently from another and therefore it is difficult to tell that they have had to endure these experiences. For instance, their behaviour may range from becoming withdrawn, extroverted, promiscuous aggressive, angry or engage in self harm activities (emotional, psychological or physical self harm) due to the self loathing, low self worth, hopelessness and helplessness that they generally experience as a result of sexual abuse or incest.

Tell someone

Elizabeth Fritzl was sexually abused by her father Josef Fritzl from the age of 11. Most children being abused do not tell anyone of their plight, resulting from the sheer fear of reprisals from the abuser, shame, guilt and intimidation, coupled with wondering if anyone would ever believe them. The case of ‘Becky’, a 14 year old British teenager that was brave enough to pluck up the courage to tell adults of her plight, goes a long way to prove this point. ‘Becky’ was consistently ignored until she started self harming and turned to drinks and drugs. It was only then that social services took action to remove her from the family home and placed her in a children’s home. Unfortunately for ‘Becky’, staff at the children’s home “allowed her to be used as a prostitute for fear their intervention might infringe her human rights.”

The extent and gravity of Elizabeth Fritzl’s situation, however, is a stark wake up call to the rest of the world that our children and young people need to be protected and/or liberated, whichever the case may be.
As challenging times lay ahead for the whole family, let's hope that they are given the best support available and thanks also to Natascha Kampusch who lends her support by starting up a fund for the family.
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

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Jennifer McLeod Inspirational Quotes

Jennifer McLeod Inspirational QUOTES

“You have within you an inner guidance that always knows what you need to do. Trusting this inner guidance will set you free and help you to move the obstacles that you once considered to be mountains.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005


“Get Yourself out of the way so the REAL YOU can get going.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005

“What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2005


“Beating yourself up doesn’t make your situation any better; in fact, it only prolongs it.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“When you’ve been “there” you really know it.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“Set yourself up to WIN in life.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“Make your word your bond. It really does matter!”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“When you really go for what you want in life, you are helping more people than you realise”.
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“When you go for what you really want in life, you are helping people more than you realise.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“When you ignore that little niggling feeling inside, it comes back time and time again, bigger and bigger each time until it eventually stops you in your tracks.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“When you follow your heart’s desires and do that one thing that’s been niggling away inside you, it’s likely to be that one thing that will make your heart sing.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2006


“Take a leap of faith and do it. Sitting back and doing nothing does nothing for the soul”.
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“Embrace life as if you really meant it. Treat it like a long-lost very close friend or family member. Now that you have found it, you will want to do everything possible to hold onto it, cherish it; do more for it; love it and make it better.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007

“When you get ”there”, it is an experience like no other.”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007


“When you get “there”, it is an experience like no other. However, it is also the time to make sure that your action plans are in place to take you to your next level of “being there.” ‘
Jennifer McLeod © 2007


“Which of your characteristics or attitudes are your friends and/or family reflecting back to you?”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007


“Step Up! to the song inside of you. Following through with that thing that makes your heart sing is likely to help you find your life purpose. Then you will really have something to sing about!”
Jennifer McLeod © 2007


What are you waiting for when you have a dream to create? A plan to make? A goal to achieve? A ball to have? Success to Claim?
Jennifer McLeod © 2008

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/, http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/ and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)

Email:youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk

Email: parent@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

http://www.positiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Elizabeth Fritzl

Most people will have heard by now about Elizabeth Fritzl who was drugged, kidnapped and repeatedly raped by her father Josef Fritzl 24 years ago at the age of 18.

It is hard to imagine what Elizabeth must have been going through over those years and what kept her alive under such intolerable conditions in a cellar, with three of seven children fathered by her own father.

It is also very hard to believe that no one saw Josef Fritzl taking all kinds of things into his garage which must have seemed strange.

As someone that works with parents and young people, this is another example of how diverse, challenging and complicated situations can be within a family environment. This story again, is another example of how widespread sexual abuse and incest is across the world. It does not differentiate between colour, creed, gender, race or religion.

As challenging times lay ahead for the whole family, let's hope that they are given the best support available.

leave a comment about this article or ask a question

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/, http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/, and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
http://www.positiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Do You Love ME?

Do You Love ME?

This is the underlying and constant question that children and young people have running through their minds whether on a conscious or unconscious basis. We all have a need to be loved and children and young people are no exception to the rule.Most often than not, however, children and young people may not be aware of this driving need and may act in ways which test their parents’ love for them. Again, they are generally unaware of why they are doing what they are doing because it is an unconscious act governed by the need to be and to feel loved. Though these actions may test some parents’ patience or drive some parents to despair, the trick for the parents is to look behind the behaviour at what children or young people might be trying to tell you. For instance, examples of behaviour might range from minor incidences like some children bedwetting again, creating ‘weird and wonderful’ fantasies that might seem real to them, hyperactivity, to more serious situations like stealing, mixing with the wrong crowd that leads them astray, substance misuse, self harm or even worse, suicide (sadly and steadily on the increase amongst young people and is the second or third highest cause of death for young people). The behaviour is a form of communication to you that tells you that something is going on and again, children especially, and young people may not be able to put into words how they are feeling. They just need that affirmative ‘yes’ in words and actions from their parents.

Where young people are concerned, they have so many challenges going on at this crucial stage of development in their lives, that it is so easy for them to get distracted and perhaps do things that they wouldn't normally do in an attempt to 'find themselves' or 'find me'. It is also a time for them naturally to want to explore and strive for their independence from their parents. Whilst this is a natural part of their growth, this stage still needs to be managed, whereby parents give young people more freedom a little at a time depending on their ability to manage this new found freedom and the responsibilities that it entails. Give them too much freedom at first and it will be difficult to claw it back later on if and when things go wrong. Children and young people of all ages need boundaries, irrespective of their behaviour and them telling you that they are not ‘a kid’ anymore. An Ofsted report 2007 UK reveals that young people believe that teachers treat them like young adults too soon. So whilst they want the extra freedom, they don’t want or are unable to cope with too much of it and therefore the increased responsibilities that it brings.

Another important point about a young person’s need to know that he or she is loved is the natural need for them to see their parents demonstrate that they love them. It might appear that they don’t want to be hugged anymore as they get older, but this is generally a façade that they put on at this stage of their development. Providing you are not ignoring their wishes by hugging them and embarrassing them in front of their friends, (my eldest is 17 years old and he openly initiates and gives me a hug in front of his friends), then always show your children affection. This can be as simple as tapping/touching them on their shoulders, arms, head or back as you walk past them.Brian Tracy, a leading sales and personal development guru, sited an experiment called the Infant Death Syndrome where an experiment with newly born babies showed that half the babies in the experiment were not shown any form of affection and were just fed and changed when necessary. The other half of the babies in the experiment were also changed and fed, given extra attention, affection, hugged and played with. The difference in the development of the growth in the two sets of babies was so stark that the experiment had to be stopped, though too late, as the set of babies which didn’t receive the nurturing and affection, literally shriveled up and some of them actually died. A very potent example to illustrate the point above, as it is so easy to underestimate young people’s need for affection because of the contradictory behaviour that they portray.

If you watch Eastenders in the UK, one of the current storyline running is Lucy Beale running away from home. The episode Friday 02 May 2008 showed Stephen Beale telling Lucy that dad Ian and step mum Jane had almost forgotten about her to the extent where they were thinking of moving Stephen into Lucy’s room. The expression on Lucy’s face was one of obvious disappointment, even though she was the one that ran away.

So what do you do?

Give constant reassurance, praise, love, focused attention and affection and most importantly, LISTEN and give Lots of hugs.

This is not just about positive parenting or just being positive parents as this approach goes over and above that.

Have you been LiBERATED yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

Leave your comments here about this article, and why not share this article with someone who might benefit from it?

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series http://www.amazon.co.uk/; http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/ and Ebook http://www.lulu.com/

Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
youngpeople@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/

http://www.postiveinspirations.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Liberation is on its way!

Parents and young people liberation is here at last!

Doesnt that sound great?


I get really excited at the sound of those words, because that's exactly what i do for parents and young people.

More on this later, for now join me and let me know your comments and the new phase for parents and young people..

Have you been LIBERATED YET?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod

Born To Win! book series - Get your download Ebook at www.Lulu.com
Creator of Easy Tiger Parents System(tm)
Creator of Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk
www.stepup-international.co.uk
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Parents, if you were an animal.........

Parents

if you were an animal,

• what kind of an animal would you be?


• why?


• how does this play out in your life and with family members?


• how does this affect others/your children?


• what are the implications for your children and relationships?


• any other comment?

thanks for taking part in this mini survey

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk

http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668

Parents and Young People, have you been liberated yet?

Parents and Young People, have you been liberated yet?

I work with parents and young people from an emotional and psychological perspective, enabling them to get rid of Emotional Roadblocks(tm).If you are a parent or young person, have you been liberated yet?

NEW LIFE! NEW FREEDOM! NEW YOU!

Contact me now to find out more about our services Easy Tiger Parents System(tm) and Born To Win! Programme for Young People(tm)www.Jennifer-McLeod.blogspot.comwww.stepup-international.co.ukTel: + 44 (0) 121 551 1668

With Inspirational Blessings
Jennifer McLeod
info@jennifermcleod.co.uk
http://www.stepup-international.co.uk/
+44 (0) 121 551 1668